Quest4Love

2011-09-06T01:34:00.003+08:00

http://uzex-sedyqe.dreamstation.com/syfee72.html

2011-09-06T01:34:00.001+08:00

http://uzex-sedyqe.dreamstation.com/syfee72.html

2011-08-30T05:45:00.001+08:00

http://i-bettingadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/blog.php?html1

2010-12-02T04:41:00.001+08:00

http://goo.gl/xccTd

2010-11-09T00:15:00.001+08:00

http://goo.gl/ta4uo

People are people - depeche mode

2009-11-11T01:18:00.001+08:00

People are always on the look out for exploitation and value. Whether or not psychological or physical.

Now that I have identified these traits in people, how can I use them to my advantage? The fact that I am bounded by the same traits makes me equally vulnerable.

There are things on the table I need to keep right now. Bring out the poker face and retain the 'i'm not dangerous' face. As a show off, it's very difficult to do so. How can you wipe off the birthmark? Logically there are 3 ways, conceal it, decorate it or forget about it.

What I have done is show it and be proud of it. So showing off is still on the table.

Keeping secrets is not hard, just confuse them with the untruths. However, the cat is out of the bag. Call it a dog instead of a cat. Some of them will believe you, that's enough.

Just watched vengence, a French and Hk production. Story had a good start but bad middle plot and ending. Battle scenes were superb.

I am an attention seeker. How to divert negative attention to the right avenues and positive attention to the right channels?

My perception of women has changed. However, I still know what I want and need. Nature hasn't taken a change of course. But I do believe that Wealth and power brings forth love and justice. They also provide more temptations and other negative forces. Where is the benchmark? I am still finding out.

I haven't been contacting her for two days. Felt very guilty but she knows I'm focused on other stuff. I have not done my best in this commitment so I don't deserve anything in return.

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Random thoughts at the mrt

2009-11-04T18:41:00.001+08:00

Most of the blog posts were created on my iPhone in the train where there's nothing else I can do. I haven even ask her out yet and I think she's piss at me liao. Haiz............

Anyway just bought both albums by kanya west and pitbull. Now on the way home... Can't wait to listen to them.

My writings are more random and hard to comprehend Liao unlike student days where things are less complicated.

Too many promises are left unfulfilled.

My schedule for tmr:

Mortgage talk 3-5pm

Toastmasters 7-10pm I am the table topics master.

Duno what to write Liao...

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Knockin on heaven's door

2009-11-04T08:59:00.001+08:00

Knock knockin on heaven's door...

This property investments hope will work... Gonna make sure it works!

Should I lease 3 units or just one landed???

Gonna test water this coming week... Going for viewing during the weekends.

Have to stop thinking abt $$$ when there's no work. There are people complaining liao. Forgive me there... I am actually looking forward to our next outing. All I have to do is ask. Yeap! Asking now.

Okay... Let's talk abt the date I had last sat... Very refreshing very good... Haven had such a time for many many months. I shouldn't say more... Wad for? Shall keep the rest in my heart. ^_^

Next... I want kanye west and pitbull!!! Love their songs!!! Gonna get it asap!!!

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Mambo jumbo week

2009-11-03T09:02:00.001+08:00

I'm listening to songs from the 80s right now on the train to work. I think should get more 80s songs and listen while on the way to work. Really energizing.

The commuters look shag, sleepy, in bad mood and bla bla bla. I propose SMRT convert some of it's coaches to discos... After clubbing at st James or zouk can take train and club some more hahaha.

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On the run and working still

2009-10-29T20:06:00.001+08:00

Work life is full of "life and death" or critical moments. One mistake costs you money and perhaps reputational points. Is there anything I can do to salvage the problem? The answer is NO! Sorry has no value, only money makes "cents" and sensibilities. Am I going to get fired due to my aggressive slash and burn strategy? I've sufferred some cuts and bruises from rivals and some of them self- inflicted, but none detrimental. Talking about injury self infliction, it was all psychological when I blame myself for mistakes I've made and stupid things I do to lose some extra cash. No cash is extra once you spent all of them! FML

The gals I care at work have taken me for granted. This shows that they have matured and grown to the unyielding FML world. Kudos! Lastly, I am the bread and you are my butter. I wish I could say think to the one I love dearly. Warmest regards, Ben kaw

I don't look coolz at work! Lol

2009-10-24T06:31:00.001+08:00

I dunno what repercusions there will be for my actions today and yesterday. Did some stuff I wasn't suppose to do and doing it for my so called "brothers" actually nobody can be bros when their dicks are hooked onto their gals targeted. Nbcb I felt used again. Haiz... Nvm... Fml.

This is me and yet not me at all!

2009-09-07T05:31:00.001+08:00

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

Santa Obama

2008-12-16T00:09:00.001+08:00

How Santa became what he is today:

Santa Claus was born in Hawaii, to a white mother and a black father. Santa's father was Santa Claus, Sr., a Luo from Nyanza Province, Kenya. Santa attended local schools in Jakarta until he was ten years old. He then returned to Honolulu to live with his maternal grandparents until his graduation from high school in 1979.

As an adult, Santa admitted that he had used drugs and alcohol when in high school, which he described as his greatest moral failure. He worked as a community organiser and discovered the plight of the poor and children. Santa then served for twelve years as a professor at the University of Chicago Law School, and thus gaining much weight. He was sure he could contribute more to society and finally on February 10, 2007, Santa announced his candidacy for President of Christmas Island. On November 4, 2008, Santa Claus defeated John McCain in the general election and the rest is history.

The real project 2 speech

2008-12-08T16:37:00.002+08:00

Ladies and gentleman, thank you for having me here tonight because... I want to.

The ultimate reason of effective communication is... during the confrontation of the moment that we're all anticipating:be it on stage, on bed, with a friend, or with an enemy, or with a client, how do we win the day and get the best out of it?

Well, for the record, winning is not everything. But, It's something that we all secretly desire!

Tonight, I'm going to pass on the secret formula of winning a confrontation: The alternative to violence. Actually, I prefer violence... just joking. Anyway, disclaimer: don't try this at home or anywhere!

Okay! Once upon a time, I found myself in the forest... alone. No its true. It happened 6 years ago during a 9 day Outward Bound training camp (OBS). It was solo night where I was suppose to live alone for 24 hours and trust me, there's not a single soul within a hundred metres radius.

Well, there's practically nothing to do during the day, so I slept all the way. It was 8pm when I finally woke up. It was totally dark and I had only 11 matchsticks and a candle. Besides, they are all wet. You couldn't comprehend how terrified I was then. So after a quick dinner snack, I forced myself to sleep. Then... it happened. You knew it was here, very near you... just beside you. Then you realise you can't move! I tried my hardest to move but to no avail... I realised I could only blink! Oh my god! I saw a shadow at the corner of my eye. I remember I was lying down and facing up and tilted a bit to the right. There it hid under a huge plastic sheet which I used to cover myself from the cold. It was only 5cm away, right beside me! I struggled to move even harder! Oh come on please let me go!

Then, suddenly, an eerie and extremely ghostly sound came out of it. It said, "don't be like that lah... let mummy hug you tightly..."

Oh my god... I can't even pee in my pants, there wasn't any left inside me. I'm gonna die! Please don't kill me! I continued to struggle. The voice continued, this time even louder or closer to my ears!

After a few minutes, I was convinced that I'm gonna die... there was no hope. Nobody was going to save me. I'm all by myself. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Wait and die? No! Once i've realised I was about to die, I became frustrated and angry. I started hurling vulgarities at that thing. It was venomous! It was continuous, like rapping. My first time doing free-flow vulgarities as I continued to struggle. Then I realised I could move abit! There's still hope!!!

I continued my vulgar rapping my vocabulary dried up after a while. Oh my god! I'm losing again! I'm going to die!

In the end, that was it! I gave up! I'm dying! Come on kill me! I'm not afraid! Let's me tell you (censored), when I am dead, I'm gonna get you!

Suddenly, I sat up. I could move again. The thing disappeared!

nothing happened i swear! But I'm showing off definitely so what!

2008-11-29T02:47:00.002+08:00

Aren't you rich enough to survive on Mars?

2008-11-24T23:45:00.004+08:00

If people ridicule you on your wealth or business actions, hit back with this:
"Aren't you rich enough to survive on Mars?"

"Barack Obama doesn't know the difference between strategy and tactics." - John Mccain during a televised debate with Obama. Heh look who's talking John! Your strategy and tactics have failed your presidential campaign. Good job John, see you in 2012 when you're 76 yrs old.

Strategy - a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result: a strategy for getting ahead in the world.

Tactics - any mode of procedure for gaining advantage or success. The military science that deals with securing objectives set by strategy, especially the technique of deploying and directing troops, ships, and aircraft in effective maneuvers against an enemy: Tactics is a required course at all military academies.

Instant noodles should be banned for instantaneous ones!

"Heh! Long time no see... you have gotten fat!" - if an enemy or so call "friend" tries to suan your looks or behaviour, try this:
"Don't worry, at least I look better than you." or "I've pampered myself too much, poor you!"

Don't worry about them hating you or something... they already did in the first place and don't be merciful, you have already DHV. Others will look up to you instead.

www.bustedtees.com

2008-11-23T15:52:00.001+08:00

Raped by bullshit!

2008-11-23T03:34:00.004+08:00

Going Green? Why don't we save trees and stop writing?

Qn: Do you eat noodles with chopsticks or fork???
Ans: I'm so not going to use my mouth.

Five important things you did before you die:
1. eat
2. sleep
3. breathe
4. shit
5. piss

Sex is too important.

Recently I'm feeling the heat with lesbians... love them and hate them.

"Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!"
"As your powers combine, I am Captain Planet!"
"(Singing) Captain Planet, He's your hero. Gonna take polution down to zero"

Capt. Planet: What seems to be the problem?

People: We have a financial crisis here. Can you help?

Capt. Planet: Absolutely. Down with GM, Ford and Chrysler!

Malaysia bans yoga. What's next... Tai Chi?

What's your favourite club?
Jane: Zouk
Judy: St. James
John: Manchester United!

2008-11-23T02:30:00.004+08:00

Sister: kor!

Me: Yap?

Sis: so late haven zzz?

Me: watching soccer.

Sis: its just pple chasing 1 ball... and you alreadi have 2 up yours! What's so nice to see about?

Me: Cos the ball is made of GOLD.

Sis: ???

Me: GOAL!!! Rooney scored! There you go. GOLD!

Sis: ...

Toastmasters project 2: Organise your speech

2008-11-12T17:04:00.005+08:00

I am slated to be table-topics master in the next Toastmaster summit at sch next week. Hmmmm... what can I do to spice up the day?

I guess its best to let them talk on their own terms. Topics gonna be wide-ranging and perhaps vague.

Alright, its decided. Everything gonna be outward looking instead of the inward "all about me" thing. First of all, I'm gonna spur the audience into 'active thinking' mode:

"There is a struggle. I say there is a struggle out there, between me and you. Between you and the one next to you. What it takes for me to know all of you people, and for you to know all of me."

"It is what we do. What we think, and what we believe in that brings us together as one! Tonight, we will do exactly that. You will be out here, telling us what you do, think and believe in over a range of issues. All you need is conviction and a little imagination."

Categories: Conviction (beliefs) and imagination (what would you do)

This is Classic John Mccain

2008-11-12T15:42:00.001+08:00

Click and see the fine prints

Phew, glad Mccain didn't win the election

2008-11-12T15:17:00.004+08:00

John Mccain is 72. I was wondering what would happen to America and the world if he died during his term as president if he'd win the election? Sarah Palin becomes president??? OMFG!!! That would fucking disastrous!

Sarah Palin thinks the capital of china is China town!

She thinks the alphabet has 22 letters... I believe the letters D, U, M, B are obsolete!

She didn't know Africa was a continent, not a country... she should really go back to elementary school.

I'm glad "she's been tagged and reintroduced into the wild." Watch this and you'll understand:

How to enjoy your holidays and upgrade at the same time

2008-11-12T13:53:00.007+08:00

Its been a while since I last blogged. Well you know my dedication to this journal is quite... minimal. So blogging is one good way to whine away holiday excesses.

I've been following the US elections in the last few weeks and man it was quite a rollercoaster ride. I'm Singapore couldn't afford a billion dollar campaign plus lotsa defaming and distortion of facts. Well, let me, a singaporean tell you some interesting facts or stories I found about Obama.

"Barack" is not a Hebrew or Kenyan word/name. It means "Blessed" in Arabic. Its his given name and his father's name. Barack's grandfather was a muslim.
- Source: 'Dreams from my father' by Barack Obama, p104.

Barack Obama spent 3 years playing soccer with kids in the kampong of Indonesia. I'm surprised he knew the word 'Kampong' and that he really lived in one. I never thought an American, the president-elect, would live in such traditional village (or slums some may call) in faraway South-East asia. There aren't many of us, privileged kids, who'd lived in one in Singapore. By the way, all kampongs in Singapore has gone extinct. The joy of living in one is the close proximity of nature, farm animals and the cohesive community spirit.

Obama spent 2 years in a muslim school, 2 years in Catholic school and he's never a muslim. He took up koranic studies in the muslim school. I believe he could connect well to with moderate muslims and offer some sort of olive branch to the crisis in Afganistan, Iraq and perhaps the muslim world.

In any case, Barack Obama is a extraordinary man of great conviction and a big heart. He's definitely someone to look up to in his term as president of the United States of America. I marvel at his influential oratory skills.

Here are some funny ads about him:

There is only one true love in your lifetime

2008-10-15T15:51:00.002+08:00

My grandfather once told me this: "There is only one true love in your whole life..."

I thought about it and for a moment I thought he meant marriage and my wife. But I hesitated to say it. Then he spoke again: "Its not her... You hesitated. Your only one true love is your passion or your best friend."

I was started and compelled to disagree but couldn't utter a word.

"You and your best friend talk to each other about matters of the heart don't you? Well marriage is just formality or something of a cover-up security thing." He said as I stood frozen. "Don't worry boy... go ahead and get married, its part of life. Just make sure you enjoy it and try find love within."

It took me a while to understand that old man's words. Did you? Haha old people are hard to understand nowadays. Perhaps they have figured everything out in their lives and felt its ok to be oxymoronic.

By the way, he died long time ago. What's written above was just a dream.

For adoption

2008-09-20T22:20:00.001+08:00

The Ugly Duckling's Quest4Love

Once upon a time... The ugly duckling sat on the wall... The ugly duckling had a great fall.

Dazed and confused, he looked up the sky and wondered...

"What the fuck just happened?"

God replied,"Nope, it wasn't me!"

"Then who?"

God said, "Take a journey to the west and you'll find out."

"Okay... but I'm no Monkey god."

God: "No, you're a gorilla!"

"But I'm the ugly duckling."

God: "Nah... its doesn't matter."

And so the ugly duckling took the name of gorilla-man and travelled west. He didn't know where's west but he went anyway to anywhere he thinks west.

Rain or shine, he walked with determination... then he saw an advert, "Johnny Walker classic... Keep walking (slogan)."

"That's the lamest slogan I've ever seen," he said. Then he met superman.

"Hi, I'm gorilla-man, do you know where's west?"

Superman took off his red underwear and handed it to him. "Take this, my divine red underwear. It will guide you to your destination."

"How is it gonna guide me there?"

Superman: "Wear it... on your head."

Without hesitation, he wore it and fainted immediately from the toxic smell from the underwear.

When he woke up, he realised his own underwear was stolen!

Women or Kamen riders? Its gotta be Kamen riders!

2008-09-20T22:16:00.001+08:00

Kamen Riders loves salsa!

2008-09-20T22:12:00.001+08:00

Business and animes don't mix!

2008-09-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

At home Dads are cool ok!

2008-09-20T21:40:00.001+08:00

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/At_Home_Dad

The name speaks for itself... recommended when your school work becomes crap.

The meaning of determination

2008-09-20T21:22:00.002+08:00

Zouk 6th Sep Post mortem

2008-09-19T01:17:00.005+08:00

The event was a good one. My pivots and friends are there. We dont even needa club hop.

I did the real PUAs walking ard and opening set. I tink they were genuinely good, and well respected in the community. However, there are some cmi pple who thinks they are PUAs. I dont care... I'm jus gonna say it... cant take it anymore... they just stand there like trees (DLV) and besides they are totally ugly(DLV), and couldnt peacock properly(DLV). My pivots were expecting them to open set on us but to be sadly disappointed. Anyway, I couldn be bothered. I did a few sets infront of them since one of the trees tried to AMOG mi when i shooked his hand. I think they are HELMI's friends. I want to say YOU SUCK TOTALLY. Even though I dont think i'm v good but at least i don suck like you!

Btw, i met BT or Klaus. He's a genuinely sincere and friendly guy. Although he's trying hard to improve on application, he's v knowledgable and taught mi alot! I believe he's gonna be a pro real soon. There's fire and determination in his eyes. I will continue sarge with him tmr.

When u see chickens fly... danger is lurking

2008-09-19T01:17:00.002+08:00

"Die before you get old" - Maria's quote of the day. That's a gal's view on preserving beauty. She polish btw and HB7.3.

Well, i basically hit a wall on that gal whom I confesses b4 gaming. The SOI let her not jump into my hoops. Besides, I realise it takes more than just changing mindset to completely get outta AFC reversal syndrome.

With her, everything was wrong... ZERO Comfort building... its definitely discomfort piling.

Well... that made me realise the inner game is not something u can improve in a short time. Take the numbers theory... u just have to practice till ur the master.

Anyway, I've proven myself I'm bloody good(DHV), just that i was murdered on Comfort building... she's keepin mi in LJBF zone now... I think its my ego to want to get her and that was the sticking point. I realli wanted to make my SOI worth and besides I'm a man of my word. I said I love you and I mean it.

The ejection didnt end up very bad. Lotsa damage control and still high in confidence. Already moving on...

Just after ejection, I met this gal who was focking desperate (She brought up nipples, balls, bananas implying the sexual organs) I realli felt like being Mr. nice guy and tell her to bloody stop it. Anyway, i think she took my hint. BTW, she's NOT an ugly person blablabla... was kinda surprised she couldnt get bfs. But I know she DLVs herself too much and chops off any guy's ego with a v sharp axe(mouth). Every sentence from her DLV a guy. Well, I did get some DLV before I DHV her ten times more. Besides, her IOIs and sexual intentions were far too obvious. I realli dunno wth I should do sia. Well, if my other friend did not accompany me, I would have escalated and blablabla easily.

To all Mr. nice guys reading this: You will always die first. So please game ur gal first! Be Mr. nice guy onli after she invests fully on you.

visuals for visual creatures only

2008-09-17T22:39:00.002+08:00

BEFORE: 1mth
AFTER: 3mths

The roles of life

2008-08-25T19:21:00.005+08:00

I am in the middle of MM's new book now. And I was studying it during my boring school lecture. Sitting on my 2 sides were girls I know. I was wondering what social consequences would there be if they saw the manual. "How to get beautiful women into bed" That was the title in smaller print (I mean just a little smaller than THE MYSTERY METHOD.)

I showed the title to the girl on the right. She kinda freaked outta a little but then went along with me when i told her my goal of becoming Mr. Hitch or love consultant for men and women. Err... sometime ago I was having thoughts of becoming an aspiring architect, graphic, manga artist and fashion designer. And now Mr. Hitch... so fickle minded was I.

Well... all the while I have had reservations on the design profession. Therefore, its still ok... as a temporary manifestation precursor to the big dream: BECOME A SUPER FILTHY RICH AND HAPPY MAN.

Basically, I just want everything... And I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough... (Singing)

Alright... back to the question... what happen next? Well, the gal on the right just couldn't refute or dispel any of Mystery's theories. Deep inside her, she knew the manual has her all figured out.

Mystery mentioned about internalisation of calibration techniques and that women in general are more socially savvy because they've had more practice. I'm not gonna lose out either but does that justify anybody to just spend 4 nights per week and 4 hours each night to sarge??? Well if I wanna become a master asap I should do that... but I have to make myself desperate enough to do that... Alright that must be the way if the Mr. Hitch dream should materialise. Shall start this intensive regime in October after exams.

'The one who releases himself from the emotional attachment to a desired outcome is, ironically, the most likely to realise that outcome' - Mystery

Its like going into monkhood haha!

Update on the girl I was infatuated with:
- I'm gonna just hang out with her and be just friends... Any game on her? I guess I'm starting afresh.
- She's still my good friend's love.
- I'm trying hard to keep my options open... I must not sacrifice the whole forest just for a single single tree... come on... that tree don't even belong to me. Women may be offended when reading this. They just want to be exclusive to their man while keeping their options open for more adventure.

'Mountains only have surface value when you don't conquer it' - GBD

I shall go back to meditation now... there's lotsa stuff to master now... MM, Piano, Salsa, Studies.

I'll be back!

GBD

Let's get serious, visual and undone.

2008-08-10T18:24:00.002+08:00

Sorry I've no visuals here, its boring without it, but its me anyway. There's so many things to do I believe... haven given much thought about it. I'm gonna flex some lazy muscles later and fantasize about my adventures as a filthy rich dandy and philanthropist. And still imagining I was still young.

So what's up now? How's the gal you are infatuated with Denny? Well... I told myself it'd be over by today. I think it should be since she's one who got away from my impassive interest... even if she'd still keep the door open for me. I've gotta say this gal: I'm not good enough for a long-shot. And you're my best friend's crush. I'm sorry best friend, I couldn't get her anyway, well that makes us even better friends. haha... I tried my best to be impassive and not serious. Or else I'd be so guilty!

Well... my adventures still on.

Watch me, I'm Goldenboydenny!

Its my speech; Do you really want to see more photos here?

2008-08-05T17:37:00.002+08:00

Inspiration breeds motivation which then render some action-reaction.

Well here I am extremely inspired by The practice drama where questions of ethics and morality are intensely debated. Come on, believe me, I even stopped studying and thinking about a girl I was infatuated with for hours just to be inspired!

Is what I am doing all wrong by employing the art of seduction and getting myself enriched by greater and better information in the process? There's noting wrong with self-interests. Everyone has it, needless to say. But I do include the element of social responsibility. I told every single good friend whom I confide with. I tell them I will be successful, get rich no matter what and lead a purposeful and fulfilling life. Where's all the money gonna go in the end? To my sons and daughters perhaps. But that's not the point. Its gonna go to all of you, those who share the responsibility in protecting the environment, protecting our future generations and most importantly, those who weren't born equal.

There's no complete and proper definition of oneself. We are all searching for an answer. Many point to god. I haven't. Where is the answer? Where is the answer? Where is the answer? Ask yourself that three times in your heart. You will find an answer just right in front of you. There are the steps which will take you to the eventual one. Don't ignore the process of climbing steps. Its part of nature and life. Once you are there... ... I haven't got there yet.

Lastly, let's address the issue of ethics and morality. Where is the line? How do you draw it? The law drew one on the pretext of perception and current social grounds. However, there was a saying: "The law can be bent, manipulated and rolled, as long as the element of fairness is there."

Well, I certainly do not condone criminal activities or what-so-ever social immorality but I believe the line is drawn from the heart; The principles, honesty, love and perceptions of fairness and self-interests.

Where is god anyway? Its not Jesus in my definition.

Seb-MOGGed and what to do when asked about your race.

2008-08-03T17:31:00.003+08:00

At my council gathering and initiation for the new intake, everyone was told to intro themselves. sebastian, a tall focking good lookin sexy hunk came in and AMOGGED the entire group. By the way, the councillors already knew him.

"Hi, my name is Michelle. I'm from Thailand, and my hobbies are Thai massage(hand action), making friends and making love."

Everyone laughed at his act while others forced themselves to reveal his real name to the freshies.

Head-of Dept (lady): (Giggled) let's ignore him. We'll continue with our introduction!

The introduction continues. Then after we did the "Remember the name ice-breaker" where everyone must try to recite everyone's name in order of their sitting positions. When it was seb's turn, he said something funny again, " Altia, Irene, Jackson... whatever, whatever, whatever... Vince, etc." My name becomes whatever! And so were all other councillors whom he knew. He did play by the rules with the freshies.

HOD: We do lotsa marketing and promotions for the club and we really have to source for spoonsors and sell tickets for the bash to get our funding for events... (The freshies were joking among themselves about getting commission.)

Sebastian cuts in and said something focking funny and outta this world: Don't be shy to ask for salary, I was drawing two thousand in council last year. (Laughter!) The HODs are drawing three if I'm not wrong. (Roaring laughter!)

He didn't laugh at any of his jokes and remained cool and unmoved, something for me to note.

He opened a fantastic set, like he always does i believe. I had to be convinced myself he should have talked his way to a good job and he did. Coming Friday, American express Int is interviewing him for a PR manager post. He's currently working in a local bank drawing a good income.

My sets was soso because I was preoccupied with admin and logistics. Most freshies was unsure of my race. Even when I honestly told them I was pure chinese, they didn't take it. So... its game on whenever the the race card is played.

I'm a korean hunk opener:

"I'm a Korean-Chinese-Ang Moh mixed. My eldest brother is Won Bin and my youngest brother is Hynn Bin. My name is Shu Bin by the way and if you want any autographs you can always give me a call."

I'm a Japanese mixed opener:

"I'm a Jap-American, raised by a Chinese family. My granddad was a Jap and grandma an American. Well, they had a bedroom arguement many years back and that's why Pearl Habor was bombed!"

Racial harmony opener:

"Well, my grandfather was a Chinese and grandma an indian and they had my dad. My mama is a malay and I always advocate racial harmony."

Happy National Day!

Movienation 08

2008-07-31T14:48:00.001+08:00

Interview: Know what you want with Lu Yi

2008-07-31T14:30:00.004+08:00

On the Job: Know what you want with Lu Yi.

What do you expect from someone who has graduated from SIM not long ago? Would you expect him to be just like every other person going through what we ought to after graduation? Well, he got his dream job and is now living a life beyond his imagination. On a side note, it did take him months of persuasion with the employer and on the job training before the dream job was within reach.

Lu Yi graduated in 2006 with a University of London's Bachelor of Science in
Banking & Finance (Second Class Upper Honours) and is now working for American Express International (AXP). He is currently on an assurance review on the Travellers Check business in India. And he will soon join his colleagues to host the regional visit of their General Auditor and Chief Operating Risk Officer.

“I am on an eighteen-hour day job but the exposure I get is invaluable. This is what you will get when you work in one of the Fortune 500 companies,” he said.

However, eighteen-hour days are not common in AXP, it is a company that believes in and encourages work life balance. The India project was interrupted by a series of unexpected events, which resulted in his eighteen-hour days. Although the work load was quite heavy during weekdays, he learned from his colleagues and boss that time management with appropriate prioritization was the key to work life balance. After a while, he found himself travelling almost every weekend when he was overseas. And it was great fun.

During my phone conversation with Lu Yi, he gave me an amazing insight of the people he met at work, the cities he visited and how he lived his life to the fullest. That made me realise that the world is a much greater place than what I have always imagined. He firmly believed that education should be the only thing you should invest on before 30 and travelling is part of it. Many of his colleagues like to travel and have always brought interesting life experiences and new perspectives back to the office. He was influenced by their living style and in no time, it will be his turn. He had set his sights on travelling to the Arctic Circle and climbing Kilimanjaro. “Well, you’ve got to hurry. The Artic Circle is melting off fast!” I joked, indirectly coaxing him to take his holidays as soon as possible and he laughed in agreement.

The following is an excerpt of the interview:

First impression of India

The First impression of India could be overwhelming and deceiving for people who do not try to understand this nation. The streets groan under the weight of people and the air is filled with deafening noise and sumptuous smells. No doubt, infrastructure has a long way to go in India. But below the surface, this democratic economy is under major development and transformation. World class companies like Reliance, Tata etc are muscling with traditional U.S. MNCs, whilst millions are still struggling to find a roof that covers their family.

However, the moment you walk into the office which is located in a brand new building where you can find names like Microsoft, GE etc, it is a whole new experience. “You made it”, my India colleague welcomed me at the office entrance. “Better than I expected”, I smiled. As the project progressed, I found myself working with very smart Indian employees, all of whom hold tremendous trust in this nation and in her future. I’m sure by the end of this one-month project; I will look at India in a new height.

Studying in Singapore

It wasn’t really a pleasant experience because everything was not the same as what the intermediary agency had described to me back in China. I was sort of cheated by them. So, we had to fight our way through that. Well, Singapore was obviously a very clean place but it is unfortunate that we did not have the right attitude to appreciate the beauty at that time because of the things we had to sort out back then.

I was enrolled for the A-levels a few days after I had arrived in Singapore. It was a self study programme for 8 months. My results was not impressive because I only had 8 months to prepare and basically I knew nothing and what to do when I arrived and the registration date was 2 days after I arrived in Singapore. I also took the SAT 1 and 2 and everything you can think of. I was quite determined back then because I don’t want to go back to China. I had already made a decision to come out given all the objections that I had back home. I don’t want to create anymore regret.

Then, I started in SIM and got my degree in 3 years. I was also taking part-time courses such as the ACCA and CFA when I was studying in SIM. I spent another 3 years working in AXP.

What do you think of the UOL degree programme in SIM?

One word - Caring. Lecturers and school management have been very caring. I remember my lecturers even helped me securing interview opportunities.

How did you get into American Express?

Firstly, they do not hire fresh graduates. You need substantial job experience to get in. The management team took a big risk in hiring me and I was lucky.

The first interview was a disaster. I knew nothing technical about the work I would be doing. The general manager said something which I still remember, “every hour of my time is worth $20000 and I’ve spent 40 minutes talking to you. That shows how much money you have wasted on me.”

At the end of the interview, he recommended that I should apply for a management trainee programme or find other jobs. For five months, I was desperately garnering relevant work experience and kept in contact with the general manager. Then after, I was given a second interview opportunity and it eventually went well.

After much persuasion through phone calls and emails to the senior management in New York, I was hired four months later. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Life in American Express

The first project was worth mentioning. I was on a team of four to conduct a joint-venture review in Shanghai. This happened to be the most important review at the 2006 year-end, as no one has ever done it before. Basically, I knew nothing. And what I needed to do was to figure out practical proposals to senior management to streamline and strengthen our China business. By the end of the first day in office, my boss was shocked and was really angry by the progress I had made. After that I had to sit down with him every day for a quick progress update. There were harsh comments. My colleague (who’s now my good friend) once said “Lu Yi, you are wasting my time”. That hurt me deeply. But this is the corporate world, you are held responsible and you need to deliver to the share holders. This is even more prevailing in AXP, a 150-year old company which represents the essence of the old school culture in Corporate America - Trust.

Through nearly two years of hard work and thanks to my caring boss and colleagues, I have transformed from a don’t-know-how-did-he-get-in fresh graduate to a team member who was unanimously nominated for the most prestigious company award by three department heads in 2008. (I was the only employee nominated in the Asia-Pacific region).

Plans and goals ahead

Find a new job, either within AXP or Investment Banks; complete the professional qualifications I’m studying; Go to the Arctic Circle and climb Kilimanjaro; Do an ivy-league MBA and work in Wall Street for a few years before going back to China. I think I’ll be at my early 30s when I’m ready to go home. I haven’t been to Wall Street but the level of exposure and the financial market in New York is nothing comparable. The AXP team there has so much energy and drive in them that makes me want to experience work there.

Advice to students in SIM

Know what you want and work hard. Work very hard. Spend some time in the library and start reading.

St James nite out. Pls... let me quit!

2008-07-31T13:15:00.002+08:00

2 lovely gals. Both gave fantastic alibi when asked of their personality. The one on the right, shoo x, said she was lame and I totally believed it. Well, let's see who's the master! The one on the left, piggy, said she only had a head, body and leg, very simple gal. No hands! No arse! OMFG! lol
Anyway they are definitely joking lah. Both have great personalities which is still unproven. lol.

There were rumours and so on. Only amatuers start scandalous rumours and that I did because I feel like being direct and I want to know who are the male schemers. Well, now I know who. Notty notty boys I have the trump cards here. Come on, can't we just live happily ever after? Why so serious??? Deals are only made with trust... The only thing I want from you guys is to be happy around each other. Trust me, I'm all good and scandaless! lol

Well, if you realli wanna know I tell you. Don't you think she's a good natured person? And she loves to adventure. I'd love to bring her to one of my adventure trips. Redang, river wild, river fishing, mountain trekking, etc. Don't you wanna bring her to your favourite place? Where is the best place to take her watch stars and shooting stars? Well my hometown of course! Well, there wasn't any connection, and its boring sometimes. But that's part of being nervous and I cherish all these moments! Rarely do I see myself nervous and i always like it when you feel nervous infront of me. That's chemistry!

Well, everything I say is truth. I say I rarely approach gals I mean it. I know I flirt around but that shows insecurity in me. i don have an alibi really. Anyway, let's have great fun and games together. I know when it comes to commited relationships, 100% of the gals are serious. But meanwhile, mutual understanding is essential and being relaxed and casual is fundamental to building a good relationship, whatever that means.

Sincerely,

GBD

Validation

2008-07-31T12:29:00.002+08:00

God created men equal, subjective nonetheless but a good saying. Is it always about who I like, love or want always? Do you think I'm always obsessed with all these? Looking at all my past whinings(writings), its seems to be the case. But that's the title isn't it?

As equal men, we're all vulnerable. Only age and experience make us that sturdy beings. For the past few months, i've created a mask to hide all vulnerability and the innocent me behind it. Every leader does it, as I've realised. Being you(honesty) doesn't qualify you as a leader. But presenting the ever desired image will make you one; The public image.

Its the distance between you and the mask that reveals your true identity. How big is the distance? My point is we have to close up the gap or expand the mask such that nobody discovers you. Well, worry not. A mask is a mask, you can take it off by choice no matter what. How do you close the gap? Practice the mask.

Well, love is all fun and games actually, not always a women. Do I always have to explain that to you? I have never loved any women sexually before I love her as a good friend and companion. I don't seek validation anymore. With a women, love is building a connection, a chemistry, laughter and games. There's no sexual connotation with a hug or just being in my arms. Why so serious! Anyway, this whining still falls under seeking validation. I believe the blog is the only place i seek salvation. To reveal my blog meant I've accepted you. You're sincere and kind. I won't blame you if you use this against me. There is none you can use.

Ohhh... What you do me...

2008-07-25T22:27:00.004+08:00

The song Heh there Delilah by the Plain White Tees really inspires me to brush up my guitar skills... its been awhile since I carry my guitars.

Hmmm... I'm gonna save up and get one super custom-make electric guitar. And call it Guitar gal! We're so gonna make love babe! lol

I'm not studying recently and even spent $74 on seduction books. Jus got hold of TMM's official book, Rules of the game and The Art of Seduction. When am I going for a Sabbatical and meditate on those books?

Recently, I've been quite inconsistent in my game. Always misfiring on targets and got pigs and dorks instead. The AFC reversal syndrome's gaining arsehold on me. There's another date tommorrow, my last straw i think. She's a long overdued target and my best friend love interest. Anyway, I guess he's given up already, so I'm in for good.

Oh yah... My school's Salsa club is madness. Gal/Boy ratio: 20:1 I'm in for the dance and balancing the poor ratio! 1st lesson starts at 7th august. Daphine, one of the Salsa committee member, was former Students Council president. She was part of the reason why I joined council. Now, I'm gonna get her!!! Watch out lovely!

I've been using lotsa gay shield to disqualify myself. Bad idea, hmmm... it would break her heart if I say I'm taken. This will prob disqualify me from her totally. Then, the Mad Cow shield idea came up. Denny Crane, the character in Boston Legal had it, why shouldn't I? lol Basically, I would claim mad cow whenever AMOGS or HBs probes me or my teasing becomes too ridiculus.

Anyway, I'm shocked nobody mentioned Boston Legal as observation material. Alan Shore and Denny Crane are two alpha male supremacies in the drama. You'd fascinated how much NLP, hypnotism, mind tricks, DHVs, manipulation and seduction they use to solicit HBs in the law firm.

I won't forget this: "Rules are imperfect because men themselves who created them are imperfect. Rules can be bent, rolled and manipulated, as long as there is the element of fairness." - Sharon Stone in The Practice.

Field report: shit close@Dragonfly, St James.

2008-07-20T22:43:00.005+08:00

Well, I think I should be honest here. Its my first time to Dragonfly and everyone assumed I am a regular. On the outside, I was cool, but inside fuckin confused. All the people there, fuckin old... as compared to the hip-hop section. Do I look that bloody old? should I be happy or what? I asked a sexy babe to guess my age and she said 26. 3 years mature... I laughed in delight. You know what, the guy who brought her there totally AMOGGED by me. I wished I could just say to all the girls in the group, "Girls, please cut the crap and fuck us nicely will ya?"

Nevermind the hastiness, those guys in my group except the birthday boy looked totally AFC and aloofed during the party. And it reminded of me when i was in their postion some time back.

The peacocking, DHVs, routines and lines worked perfectly. I din even have to come out with lame jokes to entertain them. They were totally drawn to me. However, the escalation part was quite messy. I was half drunk, partially concerned with those alienated AFCs and out of tactics. I wasn't sure of my target, HB7. The sexy babe was giving me the doggy dinner bowl look. I thought HB7 was easier to escalate but i was wrong.

Oh yah! I didnt know how to isolate HB7! I had no wings and couldnt think of any excuse. I just told her, "I need to isolate you for a while, can I?"

She said she expected something crappy/weird but i isolated her anyway. From that moment on it was awkward, shit, but I pushed on. Gave her a necklace (which she took off afterwards) and failed to kiss her. !@#$%^

Anyway she offered me her private number (number closed!). And later she texted me a thank you msg for the necklace. How and when should I call her back? She even recommended me a bank job at POSB where she worked.

Anyway, I told the birthday boy what happened between me and HB7. He's my good friend anyway and she's his good friend. I hope he's helping me out.

Hide, Val and co was in da house but too bad they left for other places soon after. Din managed to witness those PUAs in action. So sad!

My game is growing but still shitty at escalation and no commitments to any gal yet. What should I do???

The AFC in me

2008-07-17T04:14:00.001+08:00

Hi Rake69, Thanks for your advice. Hide knows I take advice seriously, so I thank you again.

I know the key is practice, mother of most successes.
I'm now sarging in school... a totally different game compared to clubs. And I did it with style.

Previously, I was that bust up AFC in school and totally betrayed by an AMOGshark who penetrated into my clique and fucked me upside down inside out. I still cannot forget the time when I treated him like a good friend while he spread malicious vibes to some of my school friends. He did it without my knowledge and soon it was full blown. I sort help from reluctant victims who were previously hurt by him. When I confronted him with the othe victims, he threatened to kick my ass. I freaked out totally. he's totally evil! Really!

Its been 1 year since the incident happened and now people tell me how bad he really is. And there was a girl whom he collaborated with too. She's now eating her own shit. Fellow bloggers are flaming her ass off!

With the new skills I gained from pick-up, I've managed to improve not only my image, it gave me back my school life! Those who thought I was shit due to the bad vibes, got along with me again, but never the same. The newfound confidence transcended every aspect of the suck up life i used to complain about.

The girls in school are aplenty and beautiful. Well, I somehow saw them in a different light. I sarged them and was mostly truthful in my thoughts with them. But I'm sure I'll slip one day and get busted again. I have to prepare for that moment.

I now see guys in a total different light. They will almost certainly snub me for self-interests and their girl.
Take this: I got a good guy friend who used to spend time aplenty with me for games like pool. When he got his gf, I was totally ignored.
And this: I was very outgoing and knew many people in school, I told this "good" friend in my clique that I have interest in a particular HB. However, I, the AFC did nothing to advance with her. After some months, the "good" friend edged me out and captured her heart. I din even know wtf had happened! I felt shit for helping him out, for revealing my inner thoughts to him and worst of all, introducing the HB to him.

It was sad but not now... I'm back with a vengence! Watch me, I'm Goldenboydenny!

The naturalist

2008-07-16T23:10:00.003+08:00

Being natural and truely good in my game is what I've always yearn.

I'm distracted by pple msn mi now. Cant realli concentrate on this...

alright... its been 2hours since the last line.

AMOGS come from different plane and perspective in the conversation. Getting natural is absolutely essential in this phase when AMOGs try to sabotage ur game. They can be your friend but they arent afterall in your game. You know them, you cant completely phase them out or you might lose a friend.

Can you be ruthless in the game and kill off the AMOG friend? Convince me god!

The idea of a naturalist derives from leadership, communication and psychology. It takes experience to achieve it. Nelson Mandela took 27 years in prison to be the man at his peak. When will I? Where is the vision? the foresight? the confidence to believe in it?

Mendela said, "Keep your friends close, but your rivals even closer."

He would use his well perfected art of charm to manipulate rivals to his cause. Rivals afterall, are naturally self-interest. I am convincing myself again, to kill them off.

Mao Ze Dong, the expert in manipulation, watches his rivals like pawns. He tries to divide his rivals into opposing groups for the purpose of self-destruction. He demostrated this tactic to perfection in the "hundred flowers movement". Love it or hate it, you're the man of the moment and naturally gaming for your own good cause. If time persists, I would do it, AMOGS must hate each other. (Divide and manipulate pawns tactic)

Smile, even in duress. Smile, even in jealousy. The green hat is heavy now. Gotta train hard to toss it as far away as possible.

When your best friend likes her and she fell for you, what would you do? You secretly liked her too. I couldn't think of any leader's words for just advice.

Being the naturalist is coping with the inner game of self and extending the game to others. Its too far abstract to explain in one sentence and probably too bias. I just did Mao's "divide the pawns and manipulate" tactic. What a miricle.

my PUA journals at sglair

2008-07-14T03:10:00.002+08:00

http://www.setbb.com/singaporelair/viewtopic.php?p=2197&mforum=singaporelair#2197

I cant pronounce lair properly.

I really got no idea who's Troy at this monent. I gotta find out. I'm still deciding which BC to go. RSD BC or Charisma arts'? I've jus saved enough for Troy's BC but I've gotta talk to him first. Have to be convinced. The money cant be spent anyhow.

Val and Hide are very passionate guys. They are out here to answer your silent calls for help, attending to guys who seek salvation and offer avenues of support.

I've told them about myself and the problems I'm facing. And there I was, truely honest.

What more they should know about me:

1. I'm not convinced by their speech. Prob its the age thing but I've attended lotsa motivation seminars to know what they want from me. I need to see Troy to add substance to their claims.

2. I just got my hair dyed blonde 2 days ago. Then it all fell into place... I'm Goldenboydenny, the one with the gold head. That sounds shitty but its fate I believe. Gotta be proud of it.

3. I can make a similar speech like them. Due to environmental constraints, they weren't heard well and audience got distracted by chicks passing by. If I were in their shoes, can I pull this off? I hope I can, and I wanna try too.

4. I know what I want totally... I need mentorship. As for now, I have to naturalize and increase dates and continue learning from the best!

5. My goal: Be a f**k rich man! The plan is already in place and carried out. Going for the seminar was part of the reason.

6. I am complacent, I don need motivation; the drugs don work anymore... I need to wake up! Open my eyes and see those PUAs in action and get myself in their level.

7. I strongly believe in routines and lines. There are people who need them for many reasons and contingencies. The environment is not fixed, these routines and lines serve as lighthouse or guides.

8. I have a fear of long term commitments but its what I truely desire afterall.

9. I'm not racist! My comments sounds more xenophobic instead. Its natural and I'm not afraid to show it.

Field report: OMFG! She knew everything!

2008-07-10T11:36:00.000+08:00

9/7/08[Goldenboydenny] Field report: OMFG! She knew everything!

She must be fucked upside down inside out many times by PUAs or those who memorized those routines and lines written by style in his “The Game” book! I dunno, I am speculating.

Cube test, she knew and played me out:

GBD: How big is the cube?
HB8.5: SUPER BIG! BIGGER THAN THE DESERT! (Scarastic tone)
GBD: Can you see through it?
HB8: Of course!
GBD: ok… Imagine…
HB8: I can see a HORSE too!
GBD: … (Suspicions)… What is the colour of the horse?

HB8: Ohh… Its very colourful! Black, white, pink, basically every colour you can find.

GBD: … You knew this cube test?

HB8: You forgot to mention the ladder.
GBD: OMG! Who told you that?
HB8: One of by colleagues.
GBD: I see. What about the esp test?
HB8: Try me…

GBD: You knew it!

HB8: I’m not sure I knew.

I did the number test and she said: “I’m so not going to say 7”

!@#$%&*

I’m played big time. Gotta bail out but not before I did some card tricks which she wasn’t impressed. She said she had friends who were magicians and they were way better. Morale was down from that moment on.

Frankly, the starting was good. I was totally confident, cocky and humourous. It came out quite naturally. But still deep inside me, I knew I was nervous. I had to sarge and date more to suppress the nervousness.

Some routines and lines are outdated. There’s a need to learn other routines and lines less used.

Later I realized she hangs out with guys and dates very often. I’ve to up my game totally.

The VAN W.I.L.D.E.R. advice on WORRYING and LIFE

2008-07-08T13:57:00.001+08:00

Watch the movie VAN W.I.L.D.E.R
He flows thru everything.

Van -
"Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

Van -
"You shouldn't take life to seriously. You'll never get out alive."

Van -
"But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down."

Cajun to the rescue

2008-07-06T00:29:00.001+08:00

http://cajunsspice.blogspot.com/2008/06/so-you-like-tall-women.html

I extracted this from his blog... hail the master!

"It's funny, when people call me short the first thing that pops in my mind is "Wtf is he/she talking about? I'm not short at all." I don't believe that im short, and it hardly ever comes up as a problem.

I'm about 5'6 -5'7 in my bare feet. So im taller than a lot of girls, but im also shorter than a lot of them too. Most of the girls I end up dating are taller than me, and my height isn't something that gets brought up too much. Why is that? Because its not an issue for me. During my last bootcamp in Toronto, some of my students got to see how I deal with girls when they bring up my height, in this case it was a very tall blonde (over 6 feet) who probably has a nasty habit of tooling guys. Went like this:

Tall blonde: You're really short.
Cajun: Ooooh am I?
*I lean against bar to put the physical dynamic back in my favour*
Tall blonde: Yeah, I'm way taller than you.
*I smile and look at her waiting for her to say something else. She doesn't break*
Cajun: (Very slowly) Why don't you come over here and tell me some more things that you like about me.
Tall blonde: Haha, you'd like that wouldn't you shorty?
*Realizing that this girl may just be the type that gets off on tooling and rejecting guys, I decide to throw some massive DHVs to see if I can turn her around"
Cajun: Oh wait, my friends put you up to this didn't they?
Tall blonde: Put me up to what?
Cajun: Oh nevermind, its a little personal... (baiting)
Tall blonde: Tell me. (She FINALLY comes closer)
Cajun: Well, my friends are always making fun of me because I tend to date tall women, and I recently broke up with my ex, so I figured since you're the tallest girl in the bar that maybe they talked you into coming over and making fun of me.
*Tall blonde comes closer*
Tall blonde: No, they didn't, but why do you date tall girls?
Cajun: Oh I don't know, they're just the ones that I tend to date.
*I put emphasis on the word "date" implying that I see lots of women, and that the tall ones are the only ones that I actually end up dating."
Cajun: You're actually shorter than my ex, you kind of look like her though, you're not brazilian are you?
Tall blonde: Haha no, im Portugese.
Cajun: And you're not an actress?
Tall blonde: No.
Cajun: Good, then I can keep talking to you.
*Tall blonde shifts from "tooling me" to "blatantly hitting on me" so quickly that I can hear the collective "Wtf how did he do that?" from my students 10 feet away.*

It was easy from that point on. The trick is to let them know that height is not an issue for you, or the girls that you date. You can communicate this usually by simply being confident, however in some cases, like mine, you have to subtly hint at it using DHV stories. The stuff I said was actually true too, and I ended up dating THIS girl for a little while."

CosFest 08: Impromptu Interview

2008-07-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I din know why I did this... prob to train myself to lead, approach and talk. I realli din imagine i could do this shit.

CosFest 08: Girl from Air Gear

2008-07-05T23:44:00.002+08:00

OMFG! She zips down for our photoshoot(right infront of me)! My face is fucking red and my hair is fucking off by the move! And for the record... She's only 14. Good job gal! I'm inspired!

CosFest 08: Misa from deathnote

2008-07-05T21:33:00.001+08:00

What have I learnt thus far?

2008-07-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

Being somebody... there must be Motivation - Resolve - Action - Success.

Here I am for the past 2 days... getting wasted and doing nothing to improve myself. My room is full of self improvement books and PUA resources and yet I din even touch them for the past 2 days! Was it because of me just recovering from fever? Today, I'm back to my old eating habits... whine whine whine...

God damn it, Fuck!!! I'm back to my senses now. Needa plan for the next 2 weeks later! Now, I'm getting my mind into the learning mood.... past midnight shit!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

This is some rune reading stuff... check it out dudes!

The feeling of dominance

2008-07-02T12:45:00.004+08:00

Recently, I've been reading up on mind tricks and NLP to improve my game. Perhaps before those PUA knowledge are put to work, reading body language and mind is totally a must!

I've done some magic tricks and cold reading on many people I've met, and as a form of practice. However, many tricks don't seem to work the way I really wanted to due to the lack of foreplay.

What I meant by foreplay is:
- good first impressions
- building rapport
- influencing their minds

I've seen good rapport coming from people's person and good first impressions but not those who could influence people's minds. I think NLP is a good way to start identifying what's on people's mind before we start influencing them.

Peacock Theory is a must!

2008-06-28T09:22:00.002+08:00

Especially in clubs, where its usually dark, the peacock theory works best there. Our desire to pick-up women and the standards set in the dress code forces everyone to seek to stand out.

Field report: AMOGGED @ the partyhouse (Round 2)

2008-06-24T01:15:00.004+08:00

Round 2

Hazel and I came back to the party house for round 2 the next night. I had told her about the kiss with diana on the phone and told her that Diana didn't pick up my calls during the day. She told me to ignore her totally and don't get affected. She was drunk and probably wouldn't remember anything. I played myself into her hands by ignoring Diana at the partyhouse. (Later, I would realise I shouldn't and should isolate her when we meet. I had already prep for my next move to nail her.) I didn't ponder much of her motives.

The party wasn't as intense and fun compared to the other night. I was already exhausted from work, lack of sleep and had to suppress my feelings for Diana too. The drinking games started. I lost big and drank lots. Diana sat beside me but we ignored each other. I'd usually win due to my ability to count cards and cheat discreetly. Few hours passed, still ignored. She was playing hard to get!

The REAL AMOG, CK, appeared and took advantage by building a good rapport with me and then AMOGGED me. He was CJ's (the host) friend and had also just met Diana the day before. His constant flirting irritated and infuriated me inside. I couldn't blow up and could only watch them flirt with each other. I was really jealous! My eyes gave way to her and she saw through it. Playing hard to get and flirting with CK was her trump card. I was done! Lost totally and crucified.

I left without Hazel (already dead drunk). The games continued without me. The end.

Field report: FMAC @ the partyhouse

2008-06-23T11:10:00.010+08:00

Round 1

I was hanging out with my secondary school friend, Hazel, when when she suggested we go to her friend's partyhouse after watching The Incredible Hulk. Was I dating her? I realli don't know but I did the esp test on her. It worked and she gave me an IOI I think. I made myself interesting, classy and really cool and she took it all in. More IOIs but I was still unsure. Then I decided the partyhouse could help the development between us.

Anticipating AMOGs, I had to deal with them there. CJ, the host greeted us at the door. He was really tall and friendly with her. Thenafter I realised I was the shortest among the other guys. What compensated the lack of height was my fancy hair colour and style, ang moh looks and dress. (Peacock theory) The ladies gave me cheeky glances. Confidence level and nervousness up. It was my first time doing that.

Instinctively, CJ had to be the AMOG and he was easy to deal with. However, the real AMOG took his time and was under the radar. He came alive only in round 2.

FMAC...
Find: Diana caught my eye.

Meet: A brief intro with the group and the indian poker game started.

Attract: Diana was ignored... for a while until she got a little tipsy and then isolated her. Did the ESP test on her and failed. Then, the cube test which got me some IOIs. When we returned to the group, I introduced a card game with the girls and that really pumped them up. It involves some hand contact. Kino!!! Those who lost the game were punished with alcohol consumption. Diana was high! More Kinos.
(Picture 1: Hazel and Diana were pretneding to fight. Picture2: Diana pissed off after the fight.)

Kiss-Close: After the game, I kept looking in her direction and our eyes met. I realised she was shy when she turned away and occasionally turned back to look at me. CJ tried to cut intervene but to no avail. I knew she was attracted to me but I wasn't exactly sure. Before leaving, I isolated her again and said this exactly:

"I'm probably not going to see you again... but I like you..." She cut me off and said, "But you're dating Hazel!" (The girl who brought me here.)

"No I wasn't!"

"Yes you are!" She tried to walk off and I stopped her.

"No I wasn't. Trust me." She looked at me.

"Kiss me" I said and there was a pause before she thrust her lips onto mine. I was more surprised than feeling any sexual excitment at all. 5 seconds passed and I had to gently push her away before the group saw us. (Bad move, I shouldn't have done that! So what if we were caught.) Subconsciously I was dreading what others would think or do if we were caught kissing. Eventually I got her number and left. That move would eventually cost me dearly in Round 2 the night after.

Birth of Golden Boy

2008-06-23T10:51:00.002+08:00

The transition isn't complete yet... lotsa books i gotta read and study. The new semester's comin up and there's no time. My friend Jason is still contemplating whether to pick these skills. So I hope My field reports will help. Here's my profile:

Name: Ben aka Denny
Nick: Golden Boy
Location: Singapore

Interests: Art, Manga, movies, piano, electric guitar... Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane Denny Crane.

Who I want to meet: You! (Esp those who need lotsa help!)

I care I share and I love... Its Quest4Love restart. Enuff of the bullshit, let the adventure begin!

Birth of the new PUA>>> What's his name???

2008-06-22T11:38:00.005+08:00

I have decided... after much contemplation and reading, I shall work out on attracting people, controlling them and ultimately empowering people to serve my dreams. It sounds wicked but thats reality. They are the actions of the rich and powerful.

"A man has two primary drives in his early adulthood: One toward power, success and accomplishment; the other toward love, companionship and sex. Half of life then was out of order... You are only half a man."

- Neil Strauss, The Game.

How do I start? Ermm... I'm gonna start by copying the actions of style. Well, style is a journalist by day and PUA by night. I am also doing abit of journalism so my copying is probably justified.

First-off, I need a good nick. Tom is my other alias but nothing flashy. How about GOLDEN BOY???????? OMG It came outta nowhere man. Ermmm then there is Alan Shore which I admire. Alan is my favourite attorney in Boston Legal. But Denny Crane oozes power and lust.

Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane Denny crane

Denny crane

What should and ought to be

2008-05-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

Whats my plan for the next 3 months?

1. set up marketing channels; show soccer highlights, funny stuffs, links to prdts
2. import prdts to sell
3. manga
4. piano

Let's come out of the shell...

2008-04-22T10:46:00.002+08:00

Any idea why the Red Hot Chili Peppers always sing about California??? ie. Californication and Dani California?

Anyway, I gotta get outta my shell, stop whining and start become the big ME!!!! I admit i've always whine about not getting big here but coming May/June, I shall start transformation to the guy I really am: The hunk, outspoken, flamboyant, miracle creator, creative, intelligent and successful entrepreneur!

I'm realli spiced up these few days man!

Been talking to my manga sensei yesterday, her art works are so inspiring sia! So what's stopping her from producing her own manga or magazine?

Well... I think business is not as easy as it seems... I think there must be an absolute resolve in it to be able to carry out your wishful dreams. I always believe in one thing... motivation to resolve to action to success.

Where is your resolve? Where's mine too? Its in the heart definitely... we think about it every sleepless night and every sad and lonesome day.

God damn it! Let me list down some ideas about manga publication:

Firstly, the Goal:
Manga and art pleasing and inspiring to the eyes of our readers and sparks a craze of imagination.

Secondly, the approach:
Apply the rule of 3; Rule 1: Create something that the world lacks... well you may think there's none the world lacks... I believe otherwise... absolutely! Rule 2: Find out what readers want and give them what they want! Rule 3: The management and publication team must be well managed and sustainable in the long-term.

Thirdly, the strategy:
Vested interested marketing with the influential, rich and popular. Funding from government aided sources. Recruitment and training and employment local and overseas.

The HOW now:
The plan seems vague in words... but lots of ideas, strategy, calculation and vision had been planned in my head. Have to find time to document it.

Manga and art genre:
1. Current affairs (local and international)
2. Politics
3. Comedy
4. Romance
5. Action
6. Sports
7. Children's fiction
8. Pre-teens /teens
9. Parody
10. Horror, Monster, Ghosts, psychological thriller, thriller
11. Fantasy

Train art and manga enthusiasts, get them to contribute to the magazine. For free and reward(via competition)
Get readers to contribute stories, art pieces and ideas. (for free and reward)
Online website, forum for audience consolidation and discussion.
Event planning, art events participation, events participation and presentation/promotion.

Budget:
$200000?

Let's end here for now ok? bb

Dear Sherman

2008-03-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

Dear Sherman,

I'm just a promising 23yr old 'kid' wanting to be big someday. I want to impress and get noticed... and I thank you for your invitation to lunch. ^_^

Your last word inspired me somehow... How surviving in America made you strong and 'sharpened' (extremely competitive). Recently, I talked to my friends from China. I said wanted to do something there and they told me I was naive! Unless I know people of wealth and power there, I'm gonna fail. They told me that businessmen in Singapore are too protected by law. Once they get to China, the crooks will get them. I believe the Singapore government wasn't spared either. The Suzhou Industrial Park was an example.

I am fighting my own war here. I will succeed here before going overseas.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a patriotic citizen at all. I resented the 2.5 years in the army. I desperately wanted to retake my A' levels before going to national service but wasn't given a chance. My days in the army was an emotional torture and there is this education system that doesn't give you a second chance. They don't need to.

Lastly, you're different from the other lecturers in SIM. They don't really communicate with us unlike you. If there are many of them like you in American universities, then perhaps I should invest my money to further my studies there. Before that, I will try one last time for NUS architecture.

Thanks again for reading my mail. I appreciate it.

Best regards,

Ben Kaw

the bad feeling again...

2008-03-27T23:55:00.002+08:00

The only time i blog is when i am bored or worried. Sometimes i have to do something out of the ordinary to curb boredom... like taking a slow walk at 11pm. My head was muddled with worries and shite and fuck...

well... after the walk... i felt good... after seeing those night-owls, young and old, doing what they are supposed or not supposed to... some couples... lovely... some poor and old people picking scraps from the bins and filth... you remember you are still blessed by your ancestors.

I was on my way to buy a burger for supper. The devil told me to... its too much shite today... i had to defy the angel. i didnt eat it immediately after buying it. i held it all the way home... trying to convincing myself i should throw it away. no... not a chance... still wasnt strong enough. Ate it... TOTALLY REGRETTED IT!!!

it took me a while to write the word angel here... it seems there are none that exists. anyway... it didnt matter. i dont need help... i need to help myself.

ohh... i just realised... its a gal again... what the fuck!

i cant commit to any gal now! i'm totally confused... i have no time... or do I?

nah... i am 1 determined bunch... unpatriotic and unrelenting.

America... a place where competition is right under your neck... I should go there sometime... to study i mean... Malaysia attachment for sem 5? good challenge... I will take it. after that... I will take on which country??? haha... no point...

ben... you need to sleep... and rest... and wake up refreshed and battle on... fight on... and win! WIN BIG! VERY BIG!!! YOU MUST WIN BIG!!! YOU ARE LARGER THAN LIFE ITSELF!!! YOU MUST DO IT!

well... gotta write to sherman again... it seems he cranked up on the patriot american issue. I bet he not only survived america... he survived... his demons...

I AM WINNING!!!

Letters from school

2008-03-20T01:53:00.002+08:00

I hope sherman dont mind i put this letter i wrote to him. Its no big deal anyway cos nobody visit my blog except strangers and passerbys.

I realised i haven blogged for so long so here you go:

Dear Sherman,

I think americans are a patriotic bunch (I mean you) or are they? I admire that actually. I cant sleep now(230am) because I've been thinking about what you've said yesterday. Well, I believe in myself and my judgements. Though I agree majority of the people in SIM will find it tough in the job market, I think they arent gonna die just like that. Think about it, Singapore is the most convenient place to set up a business and despite that most of us are exposed to globalisation(mindset). Don't worry, they will live till ripe old age as long as they work! ^_^

Next, its the degree we're taking now. You have probably hinted at how useless our degree is when we apply for a job. Well, I am proud to be here. And its a blessing in disguise for me. Fundamentally, people in NUS business learn pretty much the same thing as I (prob they learn more in context). But, I apply them, and besides, the experience I have here makes me wanna succeed and prove doubters wrong more!

I am being optimistic, but thats how I see things. You may have doubted my foresight and I understand that. Please allow me to relate more of myself. Thanks!

I am moderately ambidextrous (left-right brain i hope) and able to multitask to some extent.
I was always among top 5 up till my JC years. However, I slept walked and subsequently suffered seizures just before my A levels and was hospitalised. There was excessive neuronal activity in the brain and it was also partly due to puberty. Besides I lost days of memories. Previously I only slept 4-5 hours a day. Come on, there is no trade-off with health. Sooner or later, that GM(you mentioned) who sleeps 3hrs a day, will eventually suffer. We humans are not made super human.
Well, now I sleep 7hours max a day. I feel great! Now, I strive for a balanced lifestyle, higher IQ, EQ and more observant and analytic. Lots of bosses have these traits. Up till today, I am skillful in many things: advertisement / magazine / poster design, fine arts, digital art, piano, electric guitar(bit rusty), property agent, business plannning and set up, and I tutored kids for 6 years.

I did the covers and some articles for the latest SIM-RMIT school mag (RUMAG), besides, as a member of the students council, I did many of their posters. http://artbenedict.blogspot.com <-- I published some there.

Thanks for reading my mail, I really appreciate it! ^_^

Best regards,

Ben(jamin) Kaw
Group: B21
hp: 90483683

PS: I am gonna be attached to a big company coming may-june. Dad and relative recommended it. Details still unsure. God bless!

Its always my favourite!

2007-09-28T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hotel California
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said,'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,'said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave

Reminiscences at Dbl O

2007-09-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

What the hell... why am I back to clubs??? clubbing and drinking again??? now even pick up beer drinking... shit... now got spending power drink even more liao... shit... den retro nite sia... my fav... acting so crazy sum more.... shit

Anyway... long long time nvr go so its ok. wont die wan... the air quality better liao tho... since the smoke ban kicked in... those waiters having good time sia no need to clean ash trays. last time I clean until fed up... some idiots spit in it... den i wipe without noticing the shit there.

retro is gooooooood... haven been dancing like a crazy idiot sia... haha... doing the toopid YMCA thing... hahaha...

anyway I brought 3 newbirds to club... their first time... Dbl O is cheap man... treat them sia... they drink until high... on the dance floor... one of them realli get to know a gal sia... shiok sia... and a chio cutie pie... I wasnt interested in any gal anyway realli... well... to pre occupy myself, I kinda help the newbirds orientate their positions in the dance floor... hype up their radar den pop, one of them got to know that cutie. den her grp(2 gals) danced with us. The 2 gals... one big one thin... the thin 1 v shy... the other newbird wan to dance with her but kinda rejected... here i come... I sacrificed myself and the big gal to dance with mi and the other gal dance with him. The big gal... kanna shock of her life sia...

I've just reached another milestone of my life...I've just danced with a v fat gal... and I dont mind at all.... Whats happening to mi???

myths and mysteries...

2007-09-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

I am a strong believer of myths and mysteries... and the nether world. And I believe some myths are not myths at all:

For goodness sake... its not a dragon fish you find in the Mekong river, nor some ancient dinosaur still alive today... its an Oar fish... pls check wikipedia.

Now, the second part comes the angels. Do you believe in angels? well its late at nite liao... don wanna say more abt them... but this korean actress... my manga sensei looks a tiny little bit like her... sensei sensei do you know I've admired your talents? and I am kinda striving to draw some decent stuffs for u... Its hard work for a start but I will pull thru. NO QUITTING is allowed in my dictionary!!! even if my right hand injured, I will draw with my left hand!

Test for Dementia - I failed in the 2nd round...shit. wad bout u?

2007-09-22T02:05:00.000+08:00

'It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.' Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2 Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land'?

Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on. In Carmarthen , six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Bro Brother Brothest!

2007-09-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hehehe... hahaha... hohoho... my youngest bro is kinda bit siao olreadi! nobody understands his expressions or words... i wonder when I was his age was I...
a misunderstood kid or
can be understood kid or
an understanding kid.

I know its not the 3rd one after 2 seconds of pondering.

I think I was in "pls understand mi mode." Now? I understand pple but they don need to understand me much unless we're best buds.

My youngest bro likes to luff... at almost anything... he's 11.7yrs old olreadi... and just got his first pimple on his nose. Luffing? Part of hormonal changes? ohhhh i want it too... actualli... i realise luffing is impt in life...

I'm creating a joke now:

"Pls luff at me... I'm funny! The end" What's the moral of this sentence?

Answer(highlight-> I'm funny.

PS: oh yah... he has to tolerate lots of adult quarrels ie. when i spar with my other bro with words and with parents. I bet he understands adults more than I do when I was young and innocent... haiz I wonder.... why am I so deprived sometimes... I wonder.... wonder... and wonder...

What if god was ONE of us?
a slob like one of us
a stranger on the bus...
trying to make his way... home. (Glory to all those who think they are god... heal the world... heal Michael Jackson... dance like him... I'm just bored!^_^)

Ben... don forget this! Constantly remind yourself this k!

2007-09-18T23:13:00.000+08:00

My Happyness and motivation are piano, manga drawing, electric guitar, business, gym, Friends and family.

I know what is lacking now... have to improve:
1. family part a little...
2. electric guitar rusty already... have to buy new guitar and amp... budget 2k...
3. new piano if i reach grade 2.5... budget 3k?...
4. renovate my room have to depend on dad's $$$...
5. Catch up with bestz friends...
6. DRAW DRAW DRAW!!! and buy tablet!!! Master design!!!
7. What else??? GF??? err with the above chores... HOW??? I cant stop thinking abt this toopid issue...
8. Gym... yesh... confidence is built here!

Hmmm... good idea for a christmas party gig...

What is the ideal society and life?

2007-09-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

People work hard to buy their ideal life... and I have to study my P&M test for this wed so i can stop worrying abt studying and hang out with friendz!!! so poor thingz... they say i neglected them... i felt neglected too!

Lots of shopping to do since mum gave my clothes away. Let's not talk abt her... cannt afford to be pissed now.

Hmmm... do you know some ah lians been living directly opposite mi for like many yrs? they are abt the same age actualli:

When I was studying my O levels in my room, I witnessed one ah lian and his BF french kiss at the window. They can see mi and i can see them!!! but they dont care... too passionate liao... after 2 min kissing, they slowly descend and the window closes. 40mins later, the window opened again. Ah Lian was seen smoking at the window while the bf was seen wearing his shirt and ready to leave... What happened behind the closed window was probably more intensive then my Biology study.

Isn't that some ideal enjoyment for them? Up till now, I've seen many different guys in and out of their house. I wonder what's their ideal relationship and life now.

My ideals? I've alreadi spelt them out long ago... gonna accomplish them at all means!

What's your ideals?

Recently came across this person... v onnz! cute sometimes... and reminds me of my malay colleagues last time. "Friends above self... sometimes" is their motto. We had no time to hang out but during the long working hours we kinda developed special bonds. Wesley, Ain, Hilda, Yan, Bob and the crew. They are all unique pple frm diff backgrounds. Some work the recognition, some work for the pay while others like me work for fun. Guys! I wont forget you!

Oh yah... back to this person... I kinda messed her up before our exams until she kinda sick and had to wear sunglasses. Shit... why have I messed up? its her again! pissed!

I need The Remedy unplugged!!! Sing it right now...

The Remedy
words & music by jason mraz & the matrix

I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
now something on the surface it stings
that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this
and what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease
if you've got the poison I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.

I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this
the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophe
dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I wo'nt worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't and I won't and I won't etc.

Distractions today

2007-09-17T12:19:00.000+08:00

Woke up feeling pissed off the first person i see... my clothes got given away despite my repeated NONONONONO! WTF! Now nth much to wear at hm! shit! Morning jog no energy... still not at acceptable weight and haven practiced piano, manga and the coming exam. Shit... wad am i doing now??? NO more football Manager pls!!!!!!!!!! been playing since its installed!!!! cant forget abt it!!!!!!!! and cant stop thinking abt some people!!!!!!!!!!!! Yah i need some inspiration... and found some actualli:

I need more jokes to detox! god... send mi some k:

Password
-------------
A computer technician was helping a friend setting up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password. His friend got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in "penis"...
The technician nearly fell off from the chair for laughing so hard….. when the computer replied:
** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***

Good day!!!!!

Funny nicknames of the gov i've come across:

LKY - Lau Lee (Old lee)
his son - Xiao Lee (small Lee)
Jayakuma's chinese name - Jia ku ma (fake cool horse)
Ma bowTan - Marlblow Tan
Wong Kan Seng - Wong Kan't Sing!

??? Wayne Rooney???

???David Beckham???

???Frank Lampard????no... its Lam par!!

Husband and Wife sia!

Room 1408 - I felt the tremors

2007-09-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

Well... I realised, the motivation to blog is the visitors of my blog. So when am i going to start the story I've always wanted to write? no idea... alright... let's set a deadline and an environment for that: shall go on a backpacking trip to malaysia and/or thailand after the semester end this year.

Room 1408... a very happening one! You check in... and dont check out. Shall not say much. Watch it instead: http://www.movieforumz.com/showthread.php?t=55928

Heh first time felt tremors in singapore... wonder if any HDB flats collasped. nah... my little gold fish din feel much at all...

Hmmm... think i should sleep early today and wake up study for exams. goodluck to myself.

PS: I shouldnt be tempted to look for love now especially... but arrrrgh... my mind is thinkin abt gals now.... so distracting! SLP!!!SLP!!!SLP!!!

Hikikomori - NEET - Otaku: They are the victims

2007-09-03T18:41:00.000+08:00

Hikikomori (ひきこもり or 引き篭り, lit. "pulling away, being confined", i.e. "acute social withdrawal") is a Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive individuals who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal and social factors in their lives. The term hikikomori refers to both the sociological phenomenon in general as well as to individuals belonging to this societal group.

NEET is a government classification, first used in the United Kingdom but whose use has spread to other countries, including Japan, China and South Korea. The classification is "Not currently engaged in Employment, Education or Training".

Otaku (おたく or オタク) is a derisive Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests, particularly anime and manga.

(Extracted from Wikipedia)

Recently been watching Welcome to the NHK anime. Took me 2 days to complete everything. That show is all about Hikikomori, NEET and Otakus. They have lots in common. NHK stands for Nippon Hikikomori Kyokai which means "The Japanese Hikikomori Association", a reference to the protagonist's claim of a subversive conspiracy led by NHK (the broadcasting corporation) to create NHK (the hikikomori group).

Well i guess wikipedia seems to provide all the information i'm finding:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_to_the_NHK

For those out there... if u think u have been watching too much anime, drama, games or staying at home in isolation... pls watch this... its time to wake up! The way to lose the Hikikomori ways is to stop the source and get an outdoor hobby. To realise your dreams, you have to be determined and take a step at a time. Its never easy but I guess its a god created fate... you cant blame him... or cant be blamed.

Well there's lots to learn from the show also... esp how to speak confidently and psychology stuffs.

New art blog

2007-08-27T16:13:00.000+08:00

http://artbenedict.blogspot.com/

These are all my current designs, doing more also.

The World of ART @ 060807 12noon

2007-08-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

The first 20 years of my life I was fascinated with the world of Science, the world of perfection and precision. Curiousity was the key driving force in that past 20 years. However...

Isn't it naive to follow what your science teacher tells you about how the world is run? On the contary, I thought it was very mature and natural that Science ruled the world and future. How wrong I was! Having studied so hard and excelled for the first 18 years, and with one foot already on the path to realising my ambition of becoming an elite leading the world and my pride to new realms of science and discovery, fate had already decided that I belonged elsewhere.

It was 18 years of realising "I don't belong there" and 2 wilderness years of accepting the truth. All along I had the perception that artistic expressions were inferior to discoveries of Science. Scientific experiments and getting 'A's in my academic subjects fulfilled my desire and triggered a sense of euphoria.

Then came D-day. Skipping classes, neglecting school work, partying and girlfriends took a blow on me. The only explaination was that I had not done those rebellious or fashionable stuff before. It was curiousity that took a turn but that didn't crumble my vision. It was back on track soon after. However, god wasn't that merciful on me as I worked to my limits to gain back those lost time. Illness struck and it was farewell.

For the next 2 wilderness years I struggled to acknowledge reality and give up unachievable goals. I took my studies to the army days but results were in vain. Only when I began to read up on self-motivation and then improvement, was reality accepted. I thought I was given another chance. Business was mentioned in those books as the key to opening new doors to success. I still think it is right now but I'm far away from it. Family conflicts began to mount as they struggled to accept the commencement of my adulthood. Never ending problems and frustrations led to emotions and then its back to square one. However, that didn't break me one bit. I persevered and gained momentum throughout. It was stubborness and strong beliefs that kept me going. Imperfections must occur in order to progress. I call it "blessings in disguise." I progressed.

Discovery chance upon more discoveries, the world of Art embraced me. Rather, I fell for it. Currently, I'm still an infant in this realm. Nonetheless, I have learnt alot. As I struggled to draw or play the piano, I realise that artistic expressions involve every part of me. Emotions dictates my creativity,while the mood generates the tempo and skills controlled my limitations. Besides, there's the element of surprise. These alone fuel the sense of euphoria temporary.

The world of Art is about me, and about you through my eyes. You are the reason for my creativity and the reason why I strive hard for. You pave the way by living in my dreams as I live in you right now. As always, I am striving hard to make you come true everyday.

Corktail & Dreams

2007-04-05T22:01:00.000+08:00

Life's like a blend of corktail where its suppose to be enjoyed. Dreams are just moments of euphoria.

Somebody framed me today, so happening. I've never been framed since sec sch or jc times bah. Well, if ur the victim kanna framed, would u wanna find out who did it to u? Well I'm quite sure who the person is already and I'm gonna call him now.

ProjectOrange@10307 2345hrs

2007-03-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

Wad a day???

2007-02-26T15:06:00.000+08:00

Ok... here it goes:
I had no chance to have lunch with her and get to know more of her for lunch last friday. On the outside, I acted like there was rush, no push no nervousness to meet her. On the inside, it was the opposite. Well, I just don wanna act like a stupid stalker. I had my group meeting and lunch buddies getting me to lunch with them, so I was quite confused.

Just before I started to blog, she told me she's together with that guy who dated her on Vday liao. Ok... I thought i'd feel like shit now, but glad there wasn't any. Honestly, I only felt disappointed cos I no chance at all. Not even my own commitments allow me to do so. Well, that's some personal sacrifice for biz and studies.

Tribute to LiLin: Its you I'm talking about... I believe we have absolutely nothing in common. I'm biz, money-minded and also hobby-minded and you're... ... (no idea)... My infatuation was purely superficial. Goodluck to your questInlove.

Yesterday was my birthday, lots of ang bao too!!! And the food... and the atmosphere... and everyone... I celebrated 2 times even (one with friends one with family). Thanks lots everyone! Den... something stupid or careless rather, happened: I accidently rammed my dad's car on the cashcard machine at the gantry into the carpark. Why? Haiz... long story...

Now I have a mountain of tasks to do... my brain is dead and tuition is coming up soon. What's next?

What a happening Vday... but she's not there at all.

2007-02-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

She went on a date with someone else... I wasnt sure how i reacted to it and i felt i missed a chance. My wish for heavy rain on Vday came just when I was about to go for a jog this afternoon! Damn! So I presume heaven's not in favour of me bah. Bleah!

Anyway, I was surprised myself on Vday... din expect myself to be invited to some singles gathering... intensive kbox-ing and lots of gals. There were pretty ones, but den again I wasnt in any mood to know them. In the end got hp no. from 2 friendly gals but after that gathering got no contact with them liao. They sort of disappeared into thin air...

Tmr gg msia CNY liao... haiz... onli be back on tuesday... Junren's gg to Australia liao, den she's gonna enjoy herself in sg... I sound quite sad... BUT NOPE! I'm not gonna let all these things into me. I have things to do now!!!

BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!BUSINESS!!! BUSINESS!!!

I SHALL BE A MILLIONARE VVVVVVV SOON!

jianei!

She...

2007-02-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

Sports day... I'm gonna do betta next time!

It was 1000x better looking than the other submission... why mine not accepted? haiz...

First poster for sch...

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...@040207 2300hrs

2007-02-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm in the top-left corner... the rest are my council mates.

Nah... I din upset anyone actualli... its just the lyrics which demonstrated some of my feelings on some people.

"What I gotta do to make you want me... What I gotta do to make you care... What I gotta do to be heard..."

Vday's comin and I'm still at hesitant at approaching her. I think my chances are low and also my past similar approaches had all come to failures. I don wanna lose a friend, I mean I don wanna create any awkwardness between her and me. Previously I had all my confidence in nailing gals but now, all has been channelled to work and self improvement.

Can I just say infront of her that can we date or hang out more often and be best friends first b4 even thinking about relationship? This is still v awkward leh.

"yoz! heh wanna have lunch with us today? or can I sit beside you in lecture now?" Anyway, I shall try get more info from her best friend in school b4 I do anything bah. God bless me...

Recently I'm not concentrating in my work or studies, if I have time to blog means I've no heart to do any work. Why? Her? Oh come on... pls grow up kid...

Hmmm... I've realised the no. of vulgar words and phrases coming out of my mouth have drastically decreased. Its not that I have a habit of saying them but I'm glad I'm a step closer to be a v cultured person... haha.

The feeling of pang sei!@210107 2359hrs

2007-01-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

How would you feel if you're going out with a good friend and a loving couple and then your good friend left you with them a while later? You will feel like the brightest lightbulb in the world and not in any mood to shop and hangout. That's how my good pal felt. I was the one who deserted them for a boring function which I shouldn attend!

Inspite the desertion, I even borrowed $30 from her to take a taxi!!! How insensitive that was! Ta ma de... den during the function I thought I won a DVD player(1st prize) or a Surround Stereo system(2nd prize), but I left my coupons to my that friend who invited me to the function, during the lucky draw session. In the end, he and his gf take the prizes home. But cant say anything wad, he paid for my ticket and its his damn function and if I go up claim prizes sure weird wan. Haiz... if I can be more think skin abit... den both prizes can be MINE!!!

I really feel bad for that friend I deserted... I must treat her back sometime and make her feel good bah. I cant live feeling guilty of my actions. Hope she understands.

Den back to her... the one I had a crush on... I think no fate lah... gave her the card but no positive response. Anyway, nvr even pop out the Qn: "Are you free some day, can I ask you out?" Well... the odds of a rejection are v high... coward!

Ok... let me introduce you Kamen rider Black! my fav super hero!
(http://incolor.inetnebr.com/stuart/riders/black.htm)
Character: Minami, Kotaro
Actor: Kurata, Tetsuo

The guy is v handsome! lol (17yrs old at that time)

This is him in 2006 (38 yrs old liao):

California! @ 180107 2330hrs

2007-01-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

California... theme song for the O.C serial, current favourite.

For like many many many months I haven had any crush or what-so-ever to do with gals. Guys together often gossip abt gals they see on the streets and frankly I used to be like one, but now my guy friends kao beh me losing my 'mojo'(senses) den complian i gay some more... kns!

Ok back to 'crushes'... you think your interest in her is genunine? nahh... delay the feeling for a few months den you will see reality as I have now. Its nothing actually. Looks are just looks. Well the last one I had... she was dammn cute! But anyway, what chances do I have? What about common interests? No Idea.

Just heard this lame joke from Channel 8 Xu Zhen Rong: No eye-deer! (No I-dea!)

Well... I believe in fate and a little action (which is natural) and guess wat... gotta know abit more abt her liao. But den again... still super long way to go. Let's aim to be good friends first bah.

................. so fast... my plan to build a terrarium cannot be done liao. Besides don wan make a fool of myself oso. I tink just a card will do bahz.

California (for you especially gal)

We've Been On The Run
Driving In The Sun
Looking Out For Number One
California Here We Come
Right Back Where We Started From.
All Hustles (?) Grab Your Guns
Your Shadow, Where's Your Tongue (?)
Driving Down The 101

California Here We Come
Right Back Where We Started From.
California
Here We Come [long]

On The Stereo
Listening As We Go
Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now
California Here We Come
Right Back Where We Started From.
A Paddle To The Floor
Thinking I'll Be More
Gotta Get Us To The Show

California Here We Come
Right Back Where We Started From.
California
Here We Come [long]
California, California Here We Come [long]
California, California Here We Come
California, California Here We Come [long 3x]

Orientation 07 draft

2007-01-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

The new school term got off to a sensational start with Orientation 07: Lord of the Pops! The name speaks for itself; Fun-filled activities, ice-breaking and not forgetting the usual familiarization of the school's operations.

The freshies comprised of students from the 36th and 38th intake and were probably not mentally prepared for the surprises ahead. The only hint they got was a reminder to bring extra clothes or a small towel few days before the orientation. Extra caution was taken as most came in sandals or slippers. But that didn't help much when the 'surprise' unveiled its full force.

The orientation activities started off slowly as confused freshies find their footing with the game. It was not until lunch break where they had time to discuss strategy and form alliances with other groups.

When the game restarted, the orientation groups shifted gears and participated actively in the game-stations. Game masters generously rewarded them with 'popiers'(points) after each activity was completed. 'Popiers' were accumulated and used to purchase equipments for the subsequent event, "The Final Battle." The groups had to purchase lots of water bags and other equipments to prepare for the battle. It was the highlight of the orientation.

'Kaboom! Surprise'

More than 1000 water bombs were exchanged 'passionately' in friendly fires at 3 'battlefields'. The freshies battled among themselves in 2 semi-finals and the winning groups head off to the final battle with the Students Council members (The king).

The final battle yielded more frenzy as two winning groups battled the king. Most freshies had nothing to lose against the council members as they were already drenched. Non-participative freshies who watched discretely at the side were not spared either.

Nostalgia@140107 12am

2007-01-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

I dont realli like the feeling when I'm not in control of certain situations. You never know wads next really and I always call it "playing dice with god." I just realise the one thing I still fear: Failure.

In society and business, we have been trained to formulate a good plan and take calculated risks. But in certain life situations what can I do? I.e. There's a gal u like in class, but you do not know her and do not even know she will ever fancy you. Do you risk everything and just go to her directly or remain a bloody coward?

Den again, should I strategise my social life to mainstream standards and not be as unique as myself? Well this is indeed v confusing... I think I should just follow my heart.

Anyway, nostalgias usually occur when I lie on bed, sometimes asleep. Today's nostalgia happen after someone called me in the middle of my afternoon nap. I was imagining me as rich and famous as Richard Branson and also talented in piano, guitar and composing some wonderful songs haha.

Haiz... there's no inspiration in me writing orientation 07 now and its due on monday. My mind is all about... her. haiz... I must forget her and focus now!

Orientation 06: What should I write about???

2006-12-27T07:22:00.000+08:00

I was told to mug a fantastic article about my university orientation 06. Actually, I wasn't told to do a 'fantastic' one but rather everyone in school expected it unannounced. Well I hope to do one which is beyond expectation. That's dangerous actually, cos my creativity might go out of hand and something 'beyond expectation' or rather 'beyond hope' may be created!

Anyway, I decided (in my sleep) to feature orientation 06 in 3 written styles. First, the usual hype and report on the orientation. I.e. "The event was an amazing success... everyone participated in the activitites with their fullest enthusiasm... Thanks to those who made it happen... once in a lifetime experience..."

Secondly, explain the plot in the theme: CSI (Crime Scene Investigation). Most freshies either don't understand the full story behind the theme or they couldn't be bothered. Why? Come on... you know it. Nope? ok... I tell you. Imagine you're one of them. There is a new environment around you; New babes, new hunks and new friends. I gotta know them all! CSI? Nah... for me, its CBI! (C Babes Investigate!) If ur a gal, probably you would probably find buddies with common interests and/or do a CHI! ( C Hunks Investigation!)

Personally, I've not seen a single episode of CSI (on TV) and cos I have too many other shows to watch liao. Well, if its up to me to do up the theme for orientation, I guess it would be an X-files theme. "The truth is out there." There would be aliens involved too and the plot should be something like this: One of the council members is an alien! You have to gather evidence from all the activities you will be going through and find out who is the person. You will have to catch him alive and reveal the truth to everyone!

Lastly, bitch about it! A columnist style like those on newspaper and some magazines. What should I write about? Nope, I'm not going to criticise the orientation because the council members really worked hard for it and it was really a memorable experience for me at the receving end. (I was a freshie in orientation 06.) Probably, I may write about my experience there and how I felt. Well i guess it would be pretty much like this: Just been released from the army... now in university... new life, more gals, less boring... ZZZ. Nah... I think I would make comparisons on students from JCs and Polys, guys and gals, what perceptions and assumptions were there and made.

I've just seen American Pie 5: The Naked Mile. Err... wow... American schools and people are really very liberal and I guess they prefer a more natural way of living (Getting naked and laid).

Coffee lord and Merry Christmas@251206

2006-12-25T12:30:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Received lots of season greetings through smses yesterday nite till morning. Really wanted to do that myself too but I've been sending far too many smses this month liao. Anyway, I'm under this self-improvement therapy: 7 habits of highly effective people. I'm still uneffective now but... I will in time to come.

Based on the rule of effective pple, I should be sending greeting cards for christmas cos this is a good reason to reinforce contacts with friends and endeavours. Why? Think deeply, its good for the future. Anyway, I shall be sending cards for Chinese new year, my second chance.

Well, 2007 is a few days away, what are my new year resolutions?

Firstly, I hope Ben and Keen is the key to unlocking success. Since its incorporation, I've learnt and progressed. With more commitment, I know it will happen.

Secondly, I hope the year of the Oink! Boar brings good luck and prosperity to everyone of us. Be it academics, relationships or business, it will be the good year!

Finally, this is for myself, my weight has been soaring new heights recently. I need some kind of desire to lose weight or be more committed to my healthy lifestyle regime. That 'desire' I've just seen it in my friend. He lost alot of weight since getting a gf. Should I? Worth it? Can I nail it? Am I committed to it? err... goodness gracious me... why ask myself this when the answers are given already.

Goodness gracious me... Merry Christmas everyone! Goodness gracious me... Happy new year too! Goodness gracious me... What am I doing???

Don't expect results when commitment is not there...

2006-12-17T16:43:00.000+08:00

You see, we only have 24hrs a day, 7 days a week and 365 days in a year. How many years are we expected to live? I mean how many years actually existed for us to experience our fullest potential or desires attained?

Questions too far fetch huh?

Well... I had too many things to do or I want to do, but being non-commmital only fuels disappoints and rejection. I knew it and yet did it. Its like pretending you have 8 legs when there's only 2.

The latest casualty is friendships with some groups of people. Its not that our relations have deteriorated, they have just progressed with themselves. I was not with them most of the time.

Recently, i've been reading 7 habits of highly effective people. Its a re-enforcement of self-discovery. The problem you see is the actual problem it is. Dealing with the root-problem within you is the solution.

Overall, I'm improving and getting stronger each day. But the root problem is still there. Just have to make little amendments on my 'living policies.'

Adding a sentence to my 'keeping fit' policy: Besides doing this for own health, I must do so to boost self image confidence. I am admitting that I may have to look good towards the opposite sex. Let's put it in this way: I am doing it all for the one for me next time. I know this is embarassing but thats one of the root problem, bitch!
More time for friends? May be... but let's do what's necessary first. Let's say more will gather in years to come.
Planning time is important: Set aside time for planning is mandatory.

Lastly, Its a matter of choice. We are all given the gift of instincts. Your instincts are right in the first place, yet you choose to be stubborn against it.

P.S. To a backstabber: I forgive you because I wasn't back stabbed, why so afraid to talk to me? Anyway you suck big time. I am absolutely certain that you will suffer in society.

Confession made and got over it

2006-10-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

Well, been there, done it, and moving on.

The thing i don understand is why did i sms a confession to her? shit... its unlke mi and cowardly. Its over anyway and I am not thinking about her anymore though sometimes i still feel intimidated whenever she says she's going to accompany her bf after sch. Well... i give them my blessings. Hope they get married soon.

Mugging days are back... exams soon. This is the first time I enjoy studying and loving it. But its a boring topic to talk abt here.

I've been told to write ghost stories and experiences here. I guess I will but Quest4Love becoming Quest4Ghost??? ermmm...

Ok What's this blog is for:
- Dumping ground for stupid excessive feelings
- bringing up self-confidence
- just4craps or maximum
- For the one I will love eventually.

I have a question to ask you... what do you really need now?

Love or power?

power = all that you can get = love?

love = all that you can get??? no certainly... People aren't satisfied with that one thing.

Every event, decision, experience, depends on the environment. So do you believe in fate? I always believe our destiny is pre-determined. Afterall, the environment shaped you and determines what you are likely to be in future. If god created the environment, then god created you for a purpose. What is the purpose?

Love? Literally? or love... fight for it.

Ok lastly... world events: @#$% Kim Jong Il tested his nuclear boomb... failed my assignment because of him indirectly. I have a few personal words for you Kim... grow up kid! Time's running out.

No sch tommorrow cannot make confession!!!

2006-09-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

I've decided! enuff is enuff!!! I have to blurt it out if not cannot focus on my work properly. But tmr no sch cannot see her. Kns she with her bf everytime i sms her. Next time I confess liao shall heck wad happen next. If she avoid mi den her problem lor best is remain the way it is now but aiyah anything i also ok wan lah.

After god placed a test on me, I volunteered for another test... almost failed!

2006-09-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

Agent Smith(from matrix): Mr. Benjamin... look what I have done to your blog...

Mr. Benjamin: nothing.

Agent Smith: nothing... wrong answer... I'm taking over your blog.

Mr. Benjamin: Bullshit!

Agent Smith: Yes... all you write is bullshit. That's why I have inserted my movie here:

Mr. Benjamin: You belong to 'the matrix'... not 'the blog' Go back to where you belong... back to 'the source.'

Agent Smith: is it over???

Mr. Benjamin: Yes... its over.

Alright... warm up(bullshit) over, let's get back to topic:
Well you know... I had no choice she's always there and I had to be there too. I desperately wanted to tell her I like her but, I know its gonna be detrimental to our friendship if she finds out and esp her bf. Here's a list of things I wanted to do for her:
- call her
- sms her
- say I love you face to face
- tell her do you know how hard is it for me to keep the secret from you?
- I'm running out of excuses to act i'm interested in someone else
- say I love you once again
- I want to be a little selfish... though you're attached, I still want to be with you
- I am better than him, definitely!
- You are the best I've ever met
- Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder... you are always pretty in mine
- Have you ever fell for me before? I have seen it in your eyes.
- I'm afraid I will hurt you if I tell you
- Tell me what can I do?

God... I volunteered for another test, almost failed!
God... send me some charlie's angels ok? So I wont have to think about her ever again.

If I could turn back time...

Project Quest4Love!!! Chapter 3: Incoming...

2006-09-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

Well, girls staying away 5 metres away from Ben in school was an overstatement. Some girls who are ignorant of gossips do communicate with him. However, the problem blasted a hole in his confidence when it bothered his studies and the way some people looked at him.

During a time when Ben is plunging into the lowest moments of his life.. he discovered the bad omen that brought wrath to his life after overhearing someone's conversation with a student council! The president of the Students' Council!!! She was the one who started all the gossips during orientation! and the one who warn gals not to come near me!!!

"@$#@%%^!#$%^!$#^%$^&!#^!$#^WTF!!!"

Who is she??? What's that for??? I decided to find out.

Ben went for the walk-in interview for the Students' Council selection.

Imagine a matrix style reception...

Ahhh... its never gonna happen like that!!!

Nahhh... I'm tired of writing this story now... shall start the real blogging!

God placed a test on me...

2006-09-06T20:07:00.000+08:00

I wanted to call her.. wanted to message her.. wanted to see her.. but.. she's already someone else's rose. I'm years too late and she loves him dearly too. Up till this point, I haven called, msg or see her since that day.. din want to be the 3rd party and spoil the platonic friendship I'm having with her now. I'm convinced god has placed a test on me...

I was having my usual class tuition with the pri 4 kids today. It was the 1 week holidays and the kids were especially playful than usual. I am surprised that 10 yr old girls understands BGR stuffs while the boys were focused on their psp (Playstation) instead. One notorious little girl took my handphone away and browsed through my smses, pictures and contacts. I can't be bothered actualli cos doubt she would find anything.

Then, she said, "Is *** *** your girlfriend?" That name struck directly through me like an arrow. I've been trying my best not to think about her and kinda succeeded until she brought it up. I'm gg to msg her after I blog. Can't wait to see her. Of all the girls in my contact list, why her??? Why bring her name up??? Why not other vvvvv pretty gals in the list? like Elissa, which I gt 0 chance? Haiz... God placed a test on me... I'm convinced!

This picture is close to perfect... gal of dreams... I know I will never have any chance with her and I don't like competition. May be when I become the millionare I want den see if she's still available bah...

I'm convinced... god placed a test on me... for my own good. I shall pass with flying colours...

Quest4LOVE!!! Chapter 2: Main character Tom dropped.

2006-09-03T13:06:00.000+08:00

I have decided to drop Tom as the role of the main character. He's either far too boring or boring to death. I, Ben, shall be the main character of the story from chapter 2 onwards and vindicate himself of all the bad publicity on myself in chapter 1.

That night at zouk, Ben decided it would be his last night out for him. Thenafter, he would retire as 'sifu' (master) and concentrate on his career ambitions and studies. He knew he was never commital before and it was time for him to set his priorities right in university.

Before he could start a new life as an innocent schoolboy, there were rumours circulating that Ben was a notorious guy and dangerous to gals at school. He was immensely unpopular among the gals but immensely popular among the guys.

Joe (New friend from school): "heh ben! tonight go where chiong? intro me some gals lei? heard you very power ah."

Dick (another new friend from school): "Yoz! What's up today ben! You Rock!"

Harry (another new friend from school): "Sifu! I need your help! I'm going out clubbing with a date tonight. Can you give me some valuable advice anot?"

Me (pissed off look): "... I dunno."

It was day 1 at school, none of the gals were within 5 metres from me. I'm seriously demoralised and cant concentrate on studies. What had I done to myself to deserve that?

You seems to be doing so many things... but you're actually empty inside

2006-09-02T13:37:00.000+08:00

Spurred by recent comments from some pretty ladies... I've been working out since yesterday, while watching Long Vacation. The TV addiction is coming back again, so I decided killing three birds with one stone would be an efficient choice. What's the third bird? Well... to learn how to write a super duper lovely romantic love story. I got the gist of it in the end but realised I should have been studying for my upcoming statistics test.

Project: Quest4LOVE!!!

2006-08-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

One of my many dreams was to become a writer of amazing love stories ( I don't mean pornographic stories) and a successful film director. Well... here at Quest4love, I can and I'm going to write one now, in my own way. I haven thought of any plot yet but the main character is a 21-yr old boy, 1.68m tall and an abnormally unnormal normal guy. He's Tom. Err... readers would think that the character resembles me, but I beg to differ...

Ben
- 21yr old pig
- 1.68m tall freak
- Above average looks (in the story i am lah)
- Motivated
- Experienced lover ( love me and you'll know)
- Goals-driven and millionare potential
- Money-sensed rather than being gay ( artistic)
- introvert and extrovert

Tom
- 21yr old boy
- 1.68m tall decent guy
- average looking ( long way to go man!)
- Un-motivated
- Two failed relationships (6months in total)
- Aimless and inconspicuous
- artistic
- Loves to play the guitar
- mostly introverted

Though similar in height and age, there's a distinct difference in character and hobbies. Hmmm... ok I have decided to put myself in the supporting-actor role of the story and Tom is a friend I've met in university.

When we first met during our uni-orientation day, he seemed a lively person or tried hard to be conspicuous. He kinda clicked well with the group members including me and especially the girls. Soon, we became best buds and girls from the group flock to me instead. He had some reasons to tag along with me in school because I'm friendly and gave him alot of relationship advise and tips but the main reason was he wants to be closer to the girls around me.

"Tom Cruise! Let's go clubbing tonight yeah? I intro you some Thai flavour later." I said to Tom on the phone on a friday evening. "Err.. haha no thanks but who's going?"

Me: "I'm callin james and some gals from our group along... Jamie (the gal he was interested) should be going..."
Tom: "I'll ask her myself."
Me: "Haha.. alright cya in town at 9pm. We'll be heading to Babyface later, bye."

Tom was a little hesitant to call Jamie because he was simply nervous and afraid he might say the wrong stuff: "Yo.. what's up Jamie! How YOU DOIN (sexy tone)? Are you coming to party tonight with ME? the sexy one? I'm gonna ROCK your world tonight baby... arrgh... its gonna be bumpy..." Hesitant led to nervousness and nervousness led to "I gotta call ya!"

Tom: "Hello... err Jamie?"
Jamie: "Hello, yah. Tom?"
Tom: "Yah its me calling you, err... how are you today?"
Jamie: "Good. What's up?"
Tom: "Err... Are you... going clubbing tonight... with Ben and the rest...?"
Jamie: "Yap. Are you going too? We can share cab home later after clubbing."
Tom: "Oh yeah why not."
Jamie: "Let's meet 8:20pm at Woodlands Mrt k? Cya!"
Tom: "OK! Cya!"

Apparently both of them lived in close proximity and Tom was really excited at the clubbing session that night. When they met up at 8:20pm, Tom was surprised on the amazingly fleshy dress she donned. It was an eye-opener for him because her usual self in school was in stark contrast to the daring outlook that night.

Project: Quest4LOVE!!! shall continue after ben sleeps and revised his school work...

Clubbing is like a little 'war-zone' for guys who goes 'fishing' there. Girls of different species are aplenty. James was the 'lao jiao' (experienced guy) and me, Ben was also known as 'Sifu' (master) while Tom was just Tom. The gals that came along were Jamie and Leona.

'Marine life' found in popular discos/clubs:

Sea snakes - They curl around you while you (the guy) charms the snake. When she bites... you are hers for the nite.

Octopussy - They are strange and yet cunning... you thought you know her well but she's also known by 7 other hunks. (doorbitch)

The Great White Shark - this creature needs no introduction... it can be sighted 50km away. (Its fat, clumsy, ugly and unpopular)

Coral dwellers - They flock to you when you have 'food' (the money or alcohol!) (kio-sai chiongsters)

The chemistry had started. Alcohol was 'fuel' or 'seasoning' to the chemistry exploding within the five of them. James connected with Jamie while Ben connected with two or more 'marine life.' Tom didn't connect with Leona and they din't dance much. He was jealous at how well Jamie connected with James. Soon, Tom was sitting by the roadside outside Zouk.

"I guess clubbing wasn't your cup of tea huh?" Leona said as she sat down beside him and offered a bottle of mineral water.

Tom: "I guess so. Thanks."
Leona: "I guess its not mine either... all the meaningless dancing."
Tom nodded.
Leona: "You seemed uncomfortable...(pause; Tom nodded again) you like Jamie is it? (Tom froze) I realise you keep looking at her when we were dancing."
Tom gave a weak reluctant laugh. "Nah... where got... I was actually looking at the gal near her."
Leona: "You're lying. hehe."
Tom: "No way... Its so late already, I should be leaving now. Where do you live?"
Leona: "I just live near by. Thanks for asking, hehe."
Tom: "Oh I see... ok cya then."
Leona: "Bye-bye"
Tom: "Bye-bye"

Nahhh... Tom is sooo boring... can't write about him anymore. Why don't you just become gay and I can write more interesting stuffs instead. The character Ben in the story was treated like dirt, he's doing all the bad things and portraying a bad image to his potential lovers (haha).

The definition of Love part 2: Angel from heaven

2006-08-26T01:27:00.000+08:00

Just finish playing soccer with a bunch of melayus... They lack strength and stamina (too much Marlboro or sampona liao) but made up for dribbling skills. Its like a mini italian soccer; No team work, just pure individual brillance.
I'm kinda shark outta water.. I usually play EPL style in another place with other pple. Even though that was the case, I managed to score a goal and made critical passes which resulted in other goals.
I admit I was quite tough and rough during the game and the opponents decided to deliberately bang onto me a few times to make up for the pain i caused in their asses. Well... in the end, i realised my body had quite a few steels in it while those who banged onto me kanna slapped twice in their asses!

Anyway back to the topic of the day: Definition of love...

I believe humans are having trouble distinguishing LOVE and LUST. Both are 4 letters in length and starts with an L.

Well... for me what I look for in love are:
- Compatability in terms of interests and character.
- Communication; the mutual understanding; the connection
- She must be a female. No sex-changed women, i'm still bottomline conservative and I want my own children, I love children.
- looks wise, frankly... I can never deny I look at pretty gals...thats lust but I believe love can defy the sub-concious mind and take you to another realm of possibilities. I've seen it alot of times in movies and real life.

Will it happen to me??? I do hope so... because in one of my fantasizes... the gal of my dreams is quite fat and looks less than average but she is a nurse who loves and takes care of terminally ill children and physically challenged children. To me she's an angel descended from heaven. In that dream, i pledged a part of my million dollar salary to support them and reach out to more under-priviliged children.

I dunno why I think of these... I really have a soft-spot for the physically challenged. Maybe in my previous life, I was a bad bad man. Now I'm reborned to repent for the sins in my previous life.

Soooo if I strike toto now and win 1 million only, should I donate all to them??? Hmmm... nope. I shall invest the money to make more money then donate 10% of my profits to them. But what if I fail in the investment and end up back to square 1? Haiz... I think I should fix deposit the 1 million and donate the interests bah.

I think to spend time taking care of their needs is what matters the most bah. Nothing values more than my quality time with them. Dearest angel, I wish the children are in good hands now. In the near future when I strike my millions, I shall donate them to support the cause and spend quality time helping you.

Time for mastering art liao good nite!!

The definition of Love...

2006-08-25T18:16:00.000+08:00

I'm worried i become sucked in my business too much too long and end up a bald bachelor into my 40s. I dont love any gal currently but I love my business alot and passionate abt it. I cant possibly compel myself to like any Mary, Jane or virginia (derived frm Tom dick harry). I tried b4 and didnt work at all.

Therefore, I began surveying unattached guys in their mid to late 20s.

VERDICT 1: Men are like wines, the older you get, the better you taste...

VERDICT 2: Women have the biological clock... tick-tock tick-tock... Ding! Cukoo! Ding Cukoo! "I want to get married liao, where's my prince charming???"

Well... I am surprised that women in the age range of 21 and above are looking to get married liao. Many will deny this fact and state claim a later age of maybe 26 to 28 as the ideal age to get married. Is it true gals? Anyway I heard this from veteran guys who are waiting to get married or enjoying their singlehood in their late 20s. So maybe if I listen from a gals' pt of view ah I may hear this instead:

VERDICT 1: Women are like wines, the older you get, the better you taste...

VERDICT 2: Men have the biological clock... tick-tock tick-tock... Ding! Cukoo! Ding Cukoo! "MY CUKOO IS SHRINKING!!! GIMMIE SOME VIAGRA!!!"

haha.. nah I'm joking its impossible lah.

ACTUAL VERDICT 1: Women can't depend on men liao... "We must strive to be independant women!"

Dildo sales are on the rise (I should get into the business haha lol) while more men are changing sex nowadays.

ACTUAL VERDICT 2: My prince charming should be at least 178cm tall, V-shaped body, six-packed, ang-moh pai, rich & successful, intelligent and supplies me with all the Cs ( Credit cards, Cars, Cash, Care, Children etc...)

I believe men think along the same line too:

" 36, 24, 34... Super cute, pretty, caring, long-legs, athletic, innocent on the outside but wild on the inside, supportive, rich etc."

Men and women tend to fantasize more often than being realistic... all these stereotypes affects people who don't fit into it.

I shall continue my definition of love when I come back from a jogging session...

Goals 2006 ver 2.

2006-08-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

1. I must master THE ART OF BUSINESS.
Local business laws - research, read and exploit to my benefit.
Make my business in line with the business laws.
Develop my standard operation procedures.
understand the art of human resource.

2. I must establish a Pte Ltd company.
Local business laws - research, read and exploit to my benefit.
Make my business in line with the business laws.
Develop my standard operation procedures.
understand the art of human resource.

3.1 I must master the art of sketching and drawing.
Build a habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!habit!

4. I must learn a new language: Japanese.
Do it for my resume!

5. I must build a Good Resume for myself.
Keep learning and experiencing and do not stop!

6. I must commit at least 2hours everyday for my university studies.
To make life easier in university and obtain decent grades.
Do not fail!
Utilise Mind Maps for each topic!
Dont be LAZY!!!
MUST WORK HARD!!! PERSEVERE!!! STRATEGISE!!! COMMITMENT!!!

ACCOMPLISH ALL THE GOALS YOU MUST!!! OR DIE TRYING!!!

(DONE)
3. I must master Photoshop, dreamweaver and flash.
Utilise the programs on my blog, website and business. practice on designing - once a week.